Christmas Competition

It´s competition time here at baby steps.

We are giving away two learning libraries. The Hungry Caterpillar and The Gruffalo

This time we are giving you more chances to win.

1.  Add a comment to the bottom of this post telling us one of your Christmas traditions in your family
2. Like our Facebook page
3. Share the photo on the Facebook page

The competition is open to all and will close on December 24th 2013. The first person drawn out of the hat on Christmas day will be the lucky winner. We will announce the winner here so make sure you check back to see if it´s you. (Prize must be claimed within 30days).

Good Luck!



AND THE WINNER IS........Clara!
Congratulations. Send us your contact details so we can get your prize on its way!

Floor time - independence from birth

Raising independent children begins as soon as they are born. They must become secure with their family and surroundings to be confident to face the world. When our first son was born he stayed close to us and we put him up to bed when we went and we never had a problem. With our second son things were a lot different. As we already had a routine with our oldest boy we put our youngest on the same routine from day one. One thing I really noticed was he wouldn´t sleep in his moses basket and wanted to be held all the time. He was born much earlier than our first boy so I gave him more time to adapt to his bed. However, I tried to put him there several times each night until he was happy to go straight down and off to sleep. Basically I am showing an example of how becoming independent is a process and each child has a different pace and different needs.

 

As independence is a process it is important to go slow and start early. So to the floor goes our tiny man! The importance of floor time for a newborn is huge. It allows them to have a new perspective of the world while strengthening their muscles which leads them to lift and turn their heads and later focus on an object of their choice. At first they need very little time and we began putting out son for a minute or two on his back then rolling him over onto his tummy, again for just a minute or two. Choosing a calm moment to do this is best when the baby is awake but not yet tired and not straight after a feed. Also being aware of the surface is important. Too hard and they can hurt themselves, too soft and there are fewer benefits. We put our son on a light blanket on top of a thin rug. This meant the surface was hard yet comfortable allowing for optimum movement.

 

Our little guy is now 7 weeks old and has been practising his moves for a few weeks. He is able to hold his head up for long periods of time and move it to see when a sound is coming from. He is also moving around the mat where we place him and he seems to enjoy floor time immensely as we hear those cute gurgles of satisfaction often when he is playing like this. We never leave him to long and always monitor to see if he is getting tired or bored. This is is first step to independent movement and so far he´s having a great time!

Repetitive behaviour - why toddlers love repetition

Toddlers often become obsessed with one toy, book, song or action and will repeat something again and again.

 

Our boy just loves trucks!

 

The reason for this behaviour? Well, we all love to be good at things and be an expert on a subject. This is a toddlers way of perfecting a skill and becoming an expert. When our son began throwing, it was a difficult time for us. With a new baby too it was unwelcome behaviour and we had to address it quickly to avoid accidents. Of course we told him off wen he threw toys and have even taken toys away for periods of time when he continued to throw them. But this wasn´t enough. Throwing is an important skill in the right context. So we gave him opportunities to throw. Taking him to the muddy field where there are huge puddles to throw stones in and to the beach where he can throw shells into the sea or the forest where he can throw sticks for the dog to chase. All these activities allow him to perfect his new skill while diverting the throwing from inside. He also had a purpose to his throwing (a splash in the puddle or sea, the dog chasing the stick). We now have small balls in the garden which we throw around and use in the paddling pool and the amount of toys thrown in the house has reduced dramatically. And, I must say, he can throw better than his mummy right now!!!

 

His other obsession is trucks. He just loves them! There is a road close to our house where trucks pass by all day long. His favorite passtime is going for a walk to watch them. We have put a chair by the window so he can get up and see the trucks anytime he likes and when we are out we let him go near parked trucks so he can touch te wheels and marvel at the size! He has become a truck expert!

 

 

 

To allow him to develop his love of trucks further I made him a simple game. I cut out felt squares, rectangles and circles in two colours (you can do more colours but so far I haven´t had time)! Then I covered a piece of cardboard with a piece of material and the game is ready! Now he can use the shapes to create his own trucks. It´s a great way to encourage the learning of shapes and colours too and very inexpensive and quick to make.

The first week as a family of four

As promised, a post about our first week with our two boys. It has been a pleasant yet hectic week!

 

Brazilian hospitals make all mothers stay for two nights so our first days were all in a strange environment. My husband went home after the birth so he was there when our boy woke up to give him his breakfast and keep his routine as normal as possible. Then they came to the hospital. When they arrived I was holding the baby and our big boy came to sit with us. He pushed his hand against the baby so i put the baby in the crib so I could give my boy some big squeezes. Very soon after, the baby cried so I told my boy I must pick him up. He watched silently as I quietened the baby and asked if he would like to see. He gently stroked his brother saying ´baby´. I think he was trying to get his head round the fact that the baby was now right in front of him and not in mummy´s tummy anymore. The first few days he looked for my tummy asking ´baby´ and each time we explained that the baby came out of my tummy and showed him his brother. Each time he seemed a little more accepting and intrigued by his baby brother.

 

One big reaction we noticed from him was that he woke much more frequently during the night for the first three nights. We aimed to keep his routine as close as possible to the pre-baby routine but as we were both quite exhausted from running around after him/recovering from birth and waking with a newborn several times we did have to adapt the way we were dealing with night wakings for a few days, meaning my husband would lay down close to him if he woke up and often did nod off himself!! However just one week in, he is sleeping better and we have returned to our normal ways of dealing with night wakings.

 

He hasn´t seemed to digress too much with the potty training and continues to ask when he needs to use the bathroom. We have kept everything the same in this department and are not really giving him a reaction should he have the odd accident which, hopefully, will avoid any purposeful accidents!

 

One of the most important things we have managed to do is to include our big boy in the day to day care of his brother. He has been a super little fetcher and carrier! He sometimes asks for one of us in particular to pick up his brother when he is crying and where possible we have done as he wishes (for now). He has accepted the breastfeeding really well without any obvious jealousy or fear. He does find it hard when his brother cries but this seems more out of fear that he is hurt rather than jealousy or anger and often tries to comfort him with us by stroking him or calling for us to pick him up. We have had a couple of walks now where our big boy is able to help push the pram or have a ride on his buggy board which is novel and fun - at least for now.

 

We are really pleased with how smoothly things are going and hope it continues like this. Preparation has been the key for us (view our pre-baby preparation here) and being prepared for any minor issues has kept us all calm and relaxed. I´m sure there will be a few bumps in the road but overall we are all managing to enjoy our new arrival together.

And then there were two - preparing your toddler for the arrival of a sibling

So the hospital bag is packed. The crib is awaiting. But what about your toddler? The often anxious expression and the sudden increase in tantrums signals something, but what´s wrong? ´mum what´s going on´? How you prepare your toddler for the arrival of a new baby can significantly reduce the fear, anxiety and general stress that may be felt by all family members. Here´s our story so far.

 

The first thing we have been sure to include is that we do not make any changes to our son´s routine in the weeks leading up to and the few weeks after his brother´s arrival. Any change in routine is difficult to adapt to but this will intensify dramatically with the arrival of a new family member. We began potty training over 10 weeks before the due date and changed the bedtime routine slightly to incorporate the new baby when he arrives. This includes my husband getting up in the night and having bath time in a slightly different way. Our boy adapted to these changes fine and now they will be much smoother when his brother arrives. I´m sure he may digress slightly with potty training and become a little more insecure at night but if we continue to be consistent, these changes should be minimal and he should adjust to his little brother much more calmly.

 

Preparing for feeding time! This was a major concern for me as I plan to breastfeed and as you probably know the first weeks can be slightly horrendous even without a demanding toddler at your side demanding attention. I remember my son took around 40 minutes to feed in the beginning and its not easy or convenient to move around whilst feeding your new baby. First I sat down and thought about our day. The baby will probably have around 8 feeds in 24hours three of which will be overnight (before bed, in the night, first thing in the morning) so I would only need to solve 5 feeds. If my husband is home from work in time for the evening feed this is reduced to thinking of 4 feeds. So not too bad. Getting the baby on a rough 3 hour schedule should leave us calmer. But that's still 4 lots of 40 minutes and you know how long 40 minutes is in the life of your toddler. I figure one feed can be with a movie or tv time as we watch some tv during the day so I can see how the day is going and use the tv time during the most erratic of the feeds. So that leaves 3! My son loves reading, so books will be piled high next to the sofa where I plan to feed. I have made some mystery bags for him to explore by my side. These include random objects beginning with the same letter. So our ´S´ bag contains a small saucepan, a star, a seal, a sun and some shells. This should keep him busy and also give him more language skills. We have a variety of finger puppets too which he loves to put on his fingers while we sing nursery rhymes. We have the famous ´Nemo´ fishing game which I should be able to play one handed. I will have to remember to have his water bottle and perhaps a snack handy too so that he has everything he needs for the duration of the feed. I think we´re ready to go?!

 

The next area of planning concerns where the baby will ´play´. We intend to put the baby on the floor from an early age to allow him to gain all the necessary and important motor skills. As he will move very little at the beginning we have got a blanket which he will lie on. Our son came with us to choose it and when we got home we put it on the floor and explained to him that the baby would be here and it was the baby´s space so he must not walk on the blanket. We all practiced walking around the blanket and it was a fun activity for the three of us. Our son was so excited about the blanket however, he just wanted to touch it and pick it up. So, I got him a blanket too! He now has his space too! We practiced walking around it and he is allowed to run over it and pick it up and choose where it goes and this has been a huge success so far. Lets see how we get on when there is a little baby on the other blanket!!!

 

We moved the moses basket into our room early and prepared our sons room for the arrival of his brother. This was probably one of the biggest changes and we did have a slightly adverse reaction from our boy. We have decided our second son will also sleep on a matress from an early age and sleep in his brothers room for nap time to start with in the hope they will be able to share a room when the time comes to move the baby out of our bedroom. We got a second matress, pillow and covers. We explained to our son that the baby would sleep there when it comes. He didn´t seem to mind the second matress and we refer to it as the baby´s bed and he never asks to sleep there or seemed to have any negative feelings towards it. The moses basket was a slightly different story! It had been in the spare room since our son had finished with it so he had seen it around but was never very interested. As D day got closer we prepared the basket. We washed the sheets and sorted the matress and gave the basket a light wash and told our son the baby would sleep there - so far so good. A few weeks ago I moved the furniture around in our bedroom, had a good spring clean and moved the moses basket up there too. I din´t think to talk too much about it but when it came time to have his bath our son went into our room and saw it. He looked for a moment then turned away. I picked him up to show him inside (all ready for baby) and explained the baby would sleep in mummy and daddy´s room when it was very tiny. He wouldn´t look at the basket and pushed away from me to go down. I put him down and he had his bath and got ready for bed but did seem a little quiet. When we put him to bed that night he cried a lot and woke several times in the night not just that night but for several nights. Clearly he was unhappy about the idea of the baby being close to us but over time he has adapted and (for now, baby still hasn´t arrived) seems fine with the basket in its current location! This is a great example of why preparation should start weeks in advance. I was just imagining if this reaction had happened the night we brought the baby home. Newborn crying + toddler crying = mummy sobbing!!! So glad we avoided this (though that's not to say we won´t have an adverse reaction the night we do bring baby home)!

 

The next big thing was arranging for someone to stay with our son while we are at the hospital. I have never spent a night away from my son and am extremely anxious about this. I will be in the hospital for two nights which is standard procedure here in Brazil so some hefty planning was needed! My husband will be present at the birth and for as much time as he possibly can. He is allowed to stay at the hospital with me but we think it may be too much for our son to spend more than the necessary nights without one of us as he is still very young. Really we were at a bit of a loss as to who we could ask but have a wonderful neighbour who will be stepping in to help us out. She has two older girls so has already been through it all before. She speaks English so he will have no problems and she sees him quite regularly so he won´t be confronted by a stranger if he wakes in the night or we have to dash off during the day. Also her girls are wonderful with him and he enjoys their company very much, completely forgetting about us when they are around. These factors leave us very calm when thinking about leaving him for the necessary time and know that he is in good hands.

 

So far these are the steps we´ve taken to reduce the potential stress of the baby´s arrival. For sure we will have some tense moments but if we keep in mind that it is temporary and that it is fear causing them we will be just fine. Our son just loves giving his ´baby´ or my tummy cuddles and asks several times a day (probably comfort from me more than the baby but its very sweet either way). Throughout the pregnancy we have spoken to him about the baby and he seems to love him just as much as we do. Not we anxiously await his arrival in the next few weeks and will let you know if our preparations were adequate! Any tips would be great so please leave us a comment :)
 

From nappy to pants - POTTY TRAINING

At 18 months we made the leap from nappies to underwear. Now a month in we are ready to tell you all about the process and how we dealt with the new situations which we found ourselves facing and how our little boy adapted to this new milestone.

 

The first question I will answer is ´Why so early?`

We have been asked this question several times this month. There are several reasons. Firstly, we want our son to be independent and thrive to help him reach his goals.Here, i´d also like to point out that we never force him to achieve something that is beyond his ability, yet aid his development by giving him opportunities and listening to his needs. Potty training fits here too. It is not just using the toilet but learning to dress and undress and wash his hands and the routine of hygiene that comes with using the bathroom. Sure these other skills can be taught without using the toilet but it is a great way to teach them all at once! Secondly, at whatever age you begin toilet training, it is a process. It rarely happens overnight. We have been helping him to develop his skill since he was able to sit up unaided. At 18 months we felt he was able to begin wearing underwear and taking more responsibility for his body as he was able to use the potty several times during the day. The third reason for starting all this so early comes from a Montessori concept. Why teach a child twice what they can learn once. If you continue to use nappies when a child is able to use the toilet at some point you will have to re-teach them to use the toilet. So we have skipped this re-teaching and been helping him from very early on.

 

And the moment of truth.... was it a disaster???



Well, i´ll be honest and say the first few hours of the first day I did think ´what have I got myself in for?´ But, after the first few accidents and working out his pattern, we have had a wonderfully successful month. We began taking him every 15 minutes until we saw a pattern emerge and saw he could go somewhere between 30 and 45 minutes between using the bathroom. We broke the day down into manageable chunks and got through each hour with few accidents. Each time he went we told him what he was doing and he watched the flush of the toilet then washed and dried his hands. It was very stress free and he was learning the vocabulary quickly and practicing saying them. We made a sticker chart for him so that he could see each time he succeeded and although it didn´t end up working as a reward chart (he is too young really to grasp this concept) it was a lovely distraction if he needed to sit a little longer to ´perform´. We made him dog and nemo stickers and he got very excited about them counting them together and he learnt how to stick them onto the paper (yet another skill).

 

Our sticker chart

Now, over a month into it all, he is able to ask us when he needs to go although he cannot hold once hes asked so we do still have the odd accident. He can go longer between needing to use the bathroom too usually over an hour and we´ve noticed that at least 50% of the time his nappy is dry after his nap of over 1.5 hours. Sometimes he tells us he needs to go when really he doesn´t so he is even trying to trick us and test what happens!

 

We are very happy we decided to go for it and hope we have inspired you too. But remember, if it´s not right for you, your child or your family then its not going to work out well.

Here are a few of our tips to a smooth transition.

 

 

• Try to plan a week of limited activities outside the house. If you start with pants it is not a good idea to put a nappy back on because you need to do the shopping. I rearranged life for 10 days to see how we got on and then we attempted our first trip out and yes, we had a couple of accidents!
• The first time you go out remember to take your child straight to the bathroom. We made this mistake the first time we took him out. As adults we take it for granted that there will be a bathroom around. Our poor little guy didn´t know that and as he had only been using the toilet at home he probably didn´t even know they existed outside his house!
• Have a potty to hand. We have ours in the back of the can so if he needs to go when we are out and about we always have one handy for him.
• Try to have a relaxed and calm approach to the idea of accidents both in your home and when out and about.
• Protect furniture. We have a thin plastic changing mat that we have put on the sofa for him to sit on - it is now his special seat!
• Be prepared for the accidents by having old towels or cloths and disinfectant spray ready. We also had a bucket of soapy water in the bathroom so we could put his dirty clothes in (just for the first week then it was so few we felt we didn´t need it anymore).
• Prepare your child a day or two beforehand. Talk about what will happen and show them the new underwear (allowing them to go shopping for the underwear is a perfect way to introduce them and allow them to make choices). 

Cooking - Banana Bread

So this week we decided to use up our abundance of bananas by making a yummy loaf of banana bread. Sugar free so perfect for a snack or as picnic food. Why not give it a go and let us know what you think!

 





Ingredients:

2 cups of flour

(we used one of plain and one wholemeal)

Squeezing the orange

1 tablespoon baking powder

1 tablespoon cinnomon

2 large ripe bananas

Handful of raisins

1 egg

Juice of 1 orange









Adding raisins

Put the flour, baking powder, raisins and cinnomon in a bowl and mix. Mash the bananas well and mix them together with the egg and orange juice then add to flour mixture. Mix together then put into a bread tin and cook for around 30-50mins on 180oC.

 

Simple and yummy, enjoy!

A Box (or two)

Last week our neighbor was getting rid of some very large boxes. We asked if we could have them, and so the fun began.  
I never knew how much you could do with an empty piece of cardboard but we have had a full week of fun which culminated in an outdoor activity ready for recycling day today.

To start we decided to enter in one of the big boxes. We played hide and seek and talked about the dark and light. This inspired us to make a second box into a tunnel and use the cut out pieces to design a castle façade. We put cushions inside the big box and read stories there all week. It was very cosy on the coldest days of the year!

When we were bored of the tunnel and castle we opened up the boxes and made a slide for the cars, trucks and trains and pretty much any toy that would go down. This even turned into a human slide for a few hours which had us using up some physical energy before bed!

After we were done with the slide the boxes made their way to the kitchen floor where we got out our pens and crayons and started big drawings of anything we could think of. We drew around each other and made funny faces on the outlines.

Finally our box fun could move outside as the weather warmed and we had a fun afternoon feet painting. Our boy just loved putting his feet and hands into big plates of paint and watching his footprints as he ran down the boxes. I was surprised by his reaction to the paint which I thought he may find cold and uncomfortable but which he seemed to enjoy very much. The mess was minimal and I had the baby bath ready next to him so he could jump in for a warm wash when he had finished. He spent a good half hour in the bath enjoying the experience of being outdoors with the rabbit even deciding to join in!

So, a bit of packaging sure went a long way in our house this week and today our very well used boxes have found their way to the recycling. We will definitely be keeping any boxes that come our way again.

We hope we have inspired you to have some box fun and as always if you have any ideas for us we would just love to hear them :)

Cooking - mini quiches

Today we got busy in the kitchen making mini vegetable quiches. A simple recipe which can be adapted to suit any taste. Makes a great snack or meal.

Ingredients:
For the pastry:
Large chunk of butter
cup of flour
milk to bind
For the filling:
2 eggs
grated cheese
finely chopped vegetables
(we used onion, broccoli, spinach, tomato and red pepper)
a drop of milk
oregano and pepper to season

For the pastry we added the ingredients together, mixed them well then made a ball with the dough. We rolled it out and cup out six small circles then put them into the tray.
For the filling we added everything together, mixed it well and spooned it into the pastry circles.
Then we popped them in the over for around 20 minutes and sat down to enjoy them!

PROBLEM SOLVING - fussy eating

Fussy eating is a huge issue for many parents. Over the years I have heard so many stories about children that once ate everything then one day simply stopped and became fussy about what they would eat. I always thought this was strange as children usually have a reason for changes in their lives but as a parent I can see that this can seem to happen. 

Here's our story:

Our little guy got sick. He had to take antibiotics for an ear infection and between the illness and the medication he went off his food. I, like any parent, was concerned he wasn't getting the nutrients he needed especially at a time where he needed more vitamins and minerals to help his immune system. I began to give him alternatives and cook food that was easy to eat or that I knew he particularly liked. And gave him plenty of extra fresh juice which is his favorite.

The days passed and he recovered from his infection and life returned to normal. Well, all aspects of life except for food that is. He started to refuse meals and 'went off' many of the things he previously enjoyed. I began to get frustrated and thought I can't just cook the few meals that he would eat or give him fruit or yogurt when he refused to eat a meal. I decided to get tough! I cooked the food I would have the week before he got sick and refused any alternatives and avoided giving fruit and yogurt at meal times. He still had his two fruit snacks during the day (mid-morning and mid-afternoon) and I delayed his dinner by 30 minutes so he was a little hungrier to eat the meal. After a few minor tantrums and the pain of knowing he was a little hungry sometimes he returned to his hearty eating habits. 

It is not an easy thing to do for any parent as our instinct is to feed our child. I assure you it is worth it to avoid continued fussy eating which could lead to nutritional issues in the future. Our story shows that there is usually a reason for the fussy eating and you may have to back track several days or weeks to find the cause but there is a solution and your picky eater can become a food lover. 

Other tips to help you:

• Let your child help in food preparation - if they see how it's made they may be more inclined to try it!
• Give your child choices - offer two types of vegetable and allow them to choose one.
• Give fair portion sizes - don't overwhelm your child by giving huge pieces of broccoli!  Be content with them eating a very small piece then next time give them two small pieces!
• Try not to get in a fight over the food. Meal times should last around 30 minutes so drawing them out for hours will just make for an unhappy household.
• Avoid snacks and give healthy options rather than crisps, sweets or too much milk.
• If you're out be a little more flexible. There's nothing worse than getting into a big tantrum over a few vegetables left on the plate when you are supposed to be out celebrating something.
• Try to have a relaxed attitude to food.

Cooking - cheese straws

What better activity than cooking a yummy snack on a cold and wet winter's day?
Today we made cheese straws.

Ingredients:
1/2 cup butter
1 egg
1 1/2 cups flour
tablespoon baking powder
1 cup grated cheese (we used mozzarella)

Add all the ingredients together, mix well and make straw shaped sticks. For variety you can add different herbs such as basil, oregano or thyme. Also older children may enjoy making different shapes or animals to eat!

Toys - making accessories

Rustic fence

Toys are expensive. As much as we'd all love to buy our kids full sets of things sometimes it's just out of the question. Here are a couple of things we've made to accessorise our little man's toys. Small fences to go with his farm and scenic boards to put his toy animals/cars/trains etc on.

Sanding down the sticks

Glue gunning the lolly sticks on

The fences and gates are very simple. While out enjoying a walk we gathered some sticks. We sawed the sticks to similar lengths and sanded them down (our guy loved having a go at sanding)! Then we glued lolly sticks onto the sanded sticks to make the panels, then the fences are ready (sometimes a lolly stick needs to be glued to the bottom of the fence to stabilise it). 

The scenic boards are made using a piece of cardboard and some material. I used felt for the farm animals board accommodating a muddy area for the pig to roll in! We have used plenty of TNT which is really cheap and works very well for these boards. Sometimes we just lay some material over the coffee table and play there which is a quick way to create scenes and can be changed to suit the game.

Cooking - cookies

We love cooking here so thought we'd share our fun cookie recipe. Our little boy still doesn't eat sweet food but he loves to join in the preparation (and it's a great treat for mummy when he's gone to bed) and I'm sure they will go down wonderfully at birthday parties and on special occasions.

Ingredients

1/2 cup butter

3/4 cup sugar 

1 egg

1 1/2 cups flour

1 tablespoon baking powder

1 packet chocolate - smarties (UK) or Lakka confetti (Brazil)

Cream the butter and sugar, beat in the egg, fold in flour and baking powder and add the chocolate. Make small balls (I usually get 8 cookies from the recipe), cook on medium heat (180oc) until they are brown underneath. Cool and enjoy!

PROBLEM SOLVING - when a close family member goes travelling

In today's busy world there will come a time when somebody close to your child has to go travelling whether for business or pleasure. It can have quite an adverse effect on your child but there are ways to help.

I once had a boy in the nursery who lived with many members of his extended family including his aunt. He was close with the whole family although mum was the primary care giver. In this particular scenario it was the aunt who had to travel and when the boy turned up at nursery that morning he was tearful and mum explained that he was upset because his aunt had left. Without thinking too much of it we took him and gave him some cuddles and he was soon off playing with his friends. A little while later we saw that he was upset again sitting in a corner sobbing. I went to see what had happened. Through his tears he said 'auntie' and so I replied 'oh yes your auntie is away, but she'll be back soon'. He looked up and asked 'when?'. I had no idea! So I told him i'm sure she would be back soon but I didn't know exactly when. This brought a new flood of tears and nothing would calm him down. As I knew his mum well and knew she was home I gave her a call and asked her a little more about the situation. She explained that he wasn't so attached but seemed to have been really affected by the absence of his aunt. I asked her when she would be returning and she said in three weeks. I returned to the boy and told him that his aunt would be back in three weeks and that he had lots of time to play before she got back. He settled a bit and went off to play and was picked up soon after.

The next day he returned to nursery red eyed with a tired looking mum in tow. I asked her what had happened and she said he had been up half the night fretting about his aunt and she said she just didn't understand because he would only spend a little time with her each day and it wasn't for a special reason or an important part of his routine. I said i'd have a chat with him and let her know how it went.

I went to have a chat with the sad little boy. He again told me auntie and when I said she would be back soon he asked when so I told him in three weeks. At this he began crying a little harder. I was puzzled. I asked him why did it make him sadder to know three weeks. He said he didn't know. I was at a loss! I decided to get down the calendar and mark off when she would be back and asked him if he would like to help me. His eyes lit up and we sat down and looked at the calendar together. We marked the day she would be back and I told him every day he could come in and we would mark off a day and count how many more we had left. He seemed quite content with this idea and I suggested he went and painted a nice picture so his aunt knew he was thinking about her. Off he went and not a tear from him the whole day. 

The next day he came in with his big smile and asked to mark the calendar. We did this for the following weeks and finally the day came. He marked it off and I said he must be excited that his aunt was coming. He didn't really respond but went off to have some fruit. Later that afternoon his aunt came to pick him up. She had heard the story from his mum and thought he might like her to come. Well, he took one look at her and started to cry. 'What's the matter?' I asked him. 'I want my mummy to pick me up' was his reply. After a bit of persuasion we got him out the door and off home to his mummy!

The next day his mum came in with him and told me how he hadn't been bothered at all that his aunt was back and she just couldn't understand what was going on. She said when he woke up every morning he was asking  her what day it was and if he was going to nursery and she wondered if he wasn't enjoying himself. I reassured her that he seemed perfectly happy throughout the day and since we had started the calendar exercise he had been fine. I went to have a chat to him. I asked him if he was pleased to have his aunt home and he said yes. I asked him if he knew what day it was and he said it was Thursday, he was right! I asked him if he knew what day it was tomorrow and he said Friday. Then he told me then its Saturday and I don't come to nursery. I asked him if he liked nursery and he said yes. The more he said the more inclined I was to think he was dealing with a time and day issue. He seemed to want information on his routine and what days he did things on. I decided to teach him a song about the days of the week and make a small diary so he could draw a picture on each day. He was so excited about the activity and ran home showing his whole family.

The story here tells us that the absence of a family member can be painful to a child for many reasons. 

Recently my husband had to travel for 9 days. It is the longest he's been away from our son and I was wondering what the reaction would be. I tried to keep his routine as normal as possible and not mention daddy too much. The first two nights I had 40 minute tantrums to go to bed and when he woke in the night. I faced them as I would if my husband had been here but it's much harder when you don't have back up! Needless to say he settled down and accepted daddy was away. Technology helped us a great deal as he was able to see daddy at breakfast time via Skype and this really seemed to help as he had a big smile and shouted daddy. The day my husband was coming home I got my son to do some painting telling him it was for daddy and that daddy was coming home today. He painted singing 'daddy daddy' so I think he knew what was going on. Daddy got home and for the following few days we tried to make time for the two of them to do more things together. So instead of me putting him to bed my husband did, he got him dressed and played with him while I made breakfast or dinner. He tried to get home a little earlier from work to spend a bit more time with his boy and all these small things seemed to work wonders for him (and for me as it is nice to have a little rest after being the full time carer for 9 days!) 

We can't evict these trips but we can take steps to prepare our children and ease the stress of separation a little.

Gardening - Making a herb garden

Our herb garden

If your child enjoys gardening why not try out a herb garden. It's a great way to get into the gardening scene as the herbs grow easily and it's cheap and easy to do and the herbs make for a delicious addition to any meal.

Today we decided we would get ours going.

Yesterday when we were out at the park we passed by the garden centre and got a small bag of compost and three packets of seeds. The grand total being R$7,35 (roughly £2.60). The seeds we chose were basil, coriander and parsley. We had an old bucket at home which we converted into a planter so that was one extra cost we managed to avoid (do have a good look around your house before buying expensive plastic garden pots - it's amazing what can become a herb garden!)

Putting the soil in

Watering the herbs

I left my son to put large stones at the bottom of our bucket which he really enjoyed then he spent about 20 minutes scooping the compost into the bucket. At this point he lost interest so I did the actual planting but he was game to water them afterwards. 

Now we just water, watch and wait. Keep a look out for our photo updates here and on Facebook.

PROBLEM SOLVING: Throwing toys

Throwing toys is part of a young child's development. They try and test many things as they grow strong and the ability to throw is one of them. But what do you do when the throwing gets out of hand? It's one thing to throw balls in the garden but what about those big chunks of lego that are aimed at the new baby or the truck flying at Grandad when he visits?

When parents used to ask me how to deal with throwing, I would recommend that they remove the toy for a period of time. This is exactly what we are doing with our son. We have a box which we keep on top of the work surface to put the thrown toys. When he trows a toy he is given a warning 'if you throw a toy again it will go in the box and you won't be able to play with it anymore' then if he trows it again the toy goes in the box. It works wonders and he is often upset that the toy has been taken away or asks for the toy later in the day. For now we leave the toys in the box until he has gone to bed that night then we replace them. As he gets older and understands we assume the throwing will become a lot less frequent but also when we take a toy away it may be for a much longer period of time. On a day where the box seems to be getting a bit full its clear he needs the opportunity to throw so we either get outside in the garden with the balls or invent some indoor throwing game. Beanbags in hoops are great.

This tip was brought back to me by one parent. He said his son had begun throwing toys and I talked him through the process. A few days later he said it was working well and I thought that was the end of it. But, a week or so after, he came back to me and said his son was now playing with his toys for a while then saying 'daddy, look' and throwing one of them then saying 'away'. At which point the dad was taking the toy away and the child was happily moving onto another toy. I suggested he sit the child down for a couple of minutes when he threw a toy and remove the whole lot, so , for example, if he was playing with lego and threw one piece then that was the end of lego for the day and the child would sit down for two or three minutes before being allowed to play again. He gave it a go but was back before the week was out. I'd had time to think and I suggested that perhaps the problem wasn't throwing but tidying up. Did the child simply want the toys taken away so that he was free to play with the next thing? So we came up with a new plan. When the boy threw his toys he would go immediately and sit down. When his time was up (a minute per year so if a child is two they sit for two minutes) he would have to tidy the toys away then they would be taken away. Well, it did the trick and the child stopped throwing his toys (even if he still disliked tidying up).

This is definitely a scenario for a slightly older child as there are several processes and the child needs to be able to comprehend the situation. But if a child has worked out that throwing a toy means they will be tidied for him and he can play with something else, then he is probably older anyway.

Learning where food comes from - planting our vegetables

After reading an article on Yahoo! this week about the shocking ignorance among children regarding where their food comes from, I felt it was time to start showing our boy in a serious manner. So the vegetable garden has begun! 

We have already planted basil in little pots in the kitchen (see post when babies become toddlers - practical life activities) but I felt it was time to get things going outside too. Gardening is great for gross and fine motor skills and gets children touching dirt and caring for a living thing, not to mention the fresh air! 

Before we got to the garden we selected our potatoes and I talked to him about the process. I know he is too young to understand but it gives him vocabulary and is always nice to tell your child what and why they are doing something.

We got our big planting tub out and had a great half hour filling it with soil. I really just sat back and watched after he got the hang of what he had to do. He and the rabbit enjoyed getting the mud and when he was tired I helped him finish off. Once the tub was full we made the holes and planted our potatoes. We used two large baking potatoes that had just started to sprout. Then we covered them up and had another fun 10 minutes watering them! We also planted an onion that was sprouting although I have read that this may not work but i'm game for a try.

Now his work is to water the plants each day (while I hang out the washing) and watch them grow. The potatoes usually grow large greenery and should be left for around 4 months before harvesting. We will update this post with pictures as our potatoes grow!

What are your best gardening efforts and what have your children enjoyed most? Any ideas are gratefully received.

First update: 

Onions (left) Potatoes (right)

Our potatoes have begun sprouting shoots and the onions are really taking off!

 

 

 

 

 

Harvest time!

The onions were a disaster and really didn´t grow, but the potatoes were magnificent and really yummy for tea tonight!                         

Product review - Quinny Zapp Xtra

Today we give our opinion on the pushchair we have used with our boy since he was a few months old - the Quinny Zapp Xtra.

We, like most families, spent a long time deciding on our pushchair of choice. We took many things into consideration such as size, mobility, comfort and positions. Cost was also a consideration but a little lower on our list. 

As we live in Brazil we decided that we would be using our pushchair for walks around the village and when we would go to the shopping centres. It is not normal for people to use pushchairs in restaurants or town centres so we would fit in with the culture and do as others do (also the streets and shops are not prepared for pushchairs).

We knew we wouldn't be using our pushchair on public transport as there are no adequate ways to do that in our city.

With all these considerations in mind we settled on the Quinny Zapp Xtra. One thing we really love about this pushchair is that it is suitable from a very young age and with the inlay can be used from birth. The pushchair has 5 positions both front and rear facing which is great for when your baby is tiny and also to recline an older child if they have a doze. It is easy to recline and doesn't disturb a sleeping child. 

One drawback to this pushchair is that it is in two parts. The base folds down very neatly but the seat is quite bulky. For us it is not a big problem as we use the pushchair in select places but I can imagine having to fold it down to get on a bus would be quite a challenge if you are alone. I do know that Quinny have now released the folding seat so I assume this would solve the problem but as we have managed for our first son we will just manage for our second son too!

All in all we are really pleased with our pushchair and have had no desire to trade it in. It has done 18 months for our first guy and is still in really good condition. It is simple to clean and hasn't scuffed around the frame at all. To find out more visit the Quinny website.

Seeing the world from a new perspective

In today's post I wanted to talk about the changes that happen to us as adults when we become parents. When our son was born neither me nor my husband had any idea of the things our child would teach us and how we must take full advantage of all the natural beauty in the world. 

Last weekend we had a family trip to a nearby beach and fishing town. It is called Laguna and is about a 2 hour drive from us. We wanted to show our son some traditional fishing and Laguna is a special place to do this as the fishermen have expert help in the form of dolphins. Our son is really in to sea animals at the moment and we thought it would be a perfect place to take him to see some big sea animals in action and for free!

The moment we arrived he was off like a shot out of the car and running along the sand, happy to be free of his car seat and sitting position. He reached the edge of the water and while me and my husband were scanning the horizon for a glimpse of the dolphins our boy was already shouting 'whale, whale' (his word for anything in the sea) at the top of his lungs. We were so impressed with how quickly he could see them and identify them as something he knows. 

We spent a few hours enjoying the dolphins and seeing the fish that had been caught before making our way to our hotel for a rest. While our son took his nap me and my husband began discussing his fast perception of things. We've noticed how he hears birds when we would hear nothing. He sees diggers from miles away and often tells us where the moon is at night. 

The next morning we were up early (we are now very early risers) and as breakfast wasn't going to be served until 7.30am we decided to take a walk and see the sun rise and occupy our little guy to take his mind off food! The sun was just coming out of the sea as we reached the viewpoint and our little man got very excited before turning around and showing us the moon. He then went from the sun to the moon about 20 times with an expression of sheer pleasure. We too were thrilled to see such a beautiful scene which was enhanced by his joy.

As we walked back to the breakfast room our boy started telling us something. We stopped and listened and my husband said he could hear an owl. We listened for a while and realised it was coming from the ground. We glanced around and saw three small owls on a grassy patch. We would never have seen them had our boy not pointed out the sound. 

When we got home we took the dog for a walk and continued to discuss how much our son is showing us. So much that we miss. While we were stood in the field watching our dog and boy running free we decided to listen hard and see how many sounds we could hear. Its amazing. I think we counted around 9 different sounds in what could be considered a noiseless field. 

How often do we stop and listen? How much are we missing by staying in bed another hour or putting the TV on instead of sitting at the back door? It really made us think and we'll definitely be getting out the door and opening the windows to see what the world has to offer us.

Watch the dolphins in action on this BBC clip

What's right for you is RIGHT!

We have recently announced that we are expecting our second son and this news has been greeted with mixed comments from friends and family. Hence I have been impelled to write a post regarding the decisions you make as a parent and what is right and wrong.

Firstly, some people felt they needed to give us their opinion on the fact that our two children would have a small age gap between them. Then others inquired if we had planned the pregnancy. Well, yes we had planned him and the age gap between our sons is what we decided was right for our family.

Where children are concerned everybody seems to have an opinion of what is right and wrong and are only too eager to offer their ideas on the matter. Basically I say to all these helpful advisers... what is right for me and my family is right. Every loving parent wants what is best for their child and strives to provide them with the life they see fit. As a parent you work hard day and night to help your child adapt to the outside world and the structure of your family and society. This may include how and when you put your child to bed, the food you decide to feed them and the toy you choose to buy them. All important decisions and all unique to you and your family.

My main point here is that the choices we make as parents are right if they are made consciously and for the best of the child and the family as a whole.

So to anyone who may be doubting their decisions or to those who feel others' decisions are not 'right' i'd like to remind you that no caring parent would carry out something that would deliberately harm their child or family and that every person and family is different. 

We can all agree on one thing and that is that we want what we consider to be the best for our children.