Off to nursery

The big day has arrived... today is the first day of nursery.

It is one of the hardest things for a mother to do - leave their child with another to care for. I certainly didn´t understand how difficult it would be or how strong I would have to be for my son. My husband and I have spent hours discussing this and he says that it´s just not the same for him. So loaded with my fears, emotions and the knowledge that I have about nurseries and children we began our preparations.

 

Our son has never been left with anyone. I mean not grandparents, aunts or friends. This to me was one important factor which I considered when deciding we would start nursery. Another is the language difference. He knows little Portuguese and would be attending an establishment where he would only hear Portuguese and where they have little knowledge or experience of dealing with a child who speaks a different language. Thirdly, we are lucky that we do not require daycare for working purposes. Therefore it is a choice not to have him cared for but for him to expand his experiences beyond our home and what we can offer him. Suddenly our small poppet must venture into the world and see what its all about!

 

The week leading up to his first day, we spent time organising the materials he would need, his uniform and bag. He was present along all the steps. We also read books to him that contained stories about going to nursery. We also explained to him exactly what would happen and the concept that mummy, daddy and ´baby´ would not be allowed to stay as it was only for big boys. I took him to visit the nursery, we were able to see his classroom and meet his teacher. I was able to ask her plenty of questions and organise an adaptation or settling period.

 

On his first day he really didn´t know what was going on. I told him where we were going and took him to the room where he immediately went to find a big truck that was on the shelf and started to play. As soon as the teacher was free I said goodbye to him and walked confidently out of the room even though I could hear him running after me shouting ´mummy, mummy´. That was one of the most painful things I´ve had to do. I went away from the room so I couldn´t hear him and returned after the agreed 20 minutes to find him still sobbing and gratefully snuggled on my shoulder. The next day he realised a little bit more what was happening and didn´t go from my side. Again I said goodbye and left him for a short time. Each day increasing the time I left him. Two important factors I have seen among the other parents is that a lot of them try to sneak off. I have found in my experience that this just makes the child loose trust. OK, it may be easier for you to get out of the room and you may not have the pain of hearing your baby cry but they will become wary of taking their eyes off you in case you disappear or worse they may find it acceptable to disappear (mummy does it) when you are out which becomes incredibly dangerous. The second thing i´ve noticed is how a parent reacts when they pick them up. Some collect their children using the sad voice saying how sorry they are for their suffering or commenting on the negative aspects of the experience. In my opinion it is much better to put on a brave face, be happy to see your child again and ask them about their time. Did they play with cars, dolls, a friend, did they use paint or crayons? By the end of the first week, my son is coming out telling me something of his day and asking ´mummy´? to which I tell him ´yes, mummy came back at the time we agreed, I always do´. He is asking for my security, he is asking if it is ok. By responding positively (regardless of my own feelings) I will enrich his experience and help him to gain more independence in his small life.

 

We have had a small regression on the toilet training as he refused to use the toilet at nursery but after a little over a week he is happy to go. He also refused to eat or drink for the first few days so again it was important that I didn´t leave him for long periods to begin with as he may not have had a drink for hours at a time. Now he is still not happy for me to leave and does cry a lot, even before we enter the car park, but he is also smiling when I pick him up. He gives his teacher a kiss at the end of each day so he must feel safe with her and he has allowed other children to play with his ´special´ toy.

 

This new stage in our lives has inspired me to write the following poem. Enjoy, and good luck to anyone who is about to embark on this huge milestone, whatever the age of your child.

Dear teacher

Please

Be patient with my son, he doesn´t understand.
Be patient with my son, and offer him your hand.
 

Be patient with my son, he´s feeling all alone.

Be patient with my son, tell him ´soon you will go home´.
 

Be patient with my son, he´s really very small.

Be patient with my son, to him you know it all.

Be patient with my son, he may feel without a hope.

Be patient with my son, and help him learn to cope.

Be patient with my son, and soon you will see,

You enjoy this tiny person, almost as much as me. 
 

Dear Parent

 Please

 
Trust me with your son, when you leave and he cries.
Trust me with your son, when it´s hard to say goodbye.

Trust me with your son, when you feel panic and fear.

Trust me with your son, I will tell him you are near.
 
Trust me with your son, when your heart is heavy.
Trust me with your son, he will show us he is ready.

Trust me with your son, please try not to worry.

Trust me with your son, we are not in a hurry.
 
Trust me with your son, I know what to do.
Trust me with your son, for I´m a mother too.

 

Copyright: Zoe Hamlet Silva 

Learning where food comes from - planting our vegetables

After reading an article on Yahoo! this week about the shocking ignorance among children regarding where their food comes from, I felt it was time to start showing our boy in a serious manner. So the vegetable garden has begun! 

We have already planted basil in little pots in the kitchen (see post when babies become toddlers - practical life activities) but I felt it was time to get things going outside too. Gardening is great for gross and fine motor skills and gets children touching dirt and caring for a living thing, not to mention the fresh air! 

Before we got to the garden we selected our potatoes and I talked to him about the process. I know he is too young to understand but it gives him vocabulary and is always nice to tell your child what and why they are doing something.

We got our big planting tub out and had a great half hour filling it with soil. I really just sat back and watched after he got the hang of what he had to do. He and the rabbit enjoyed getting the mud and when he was tired I helped him finish off. Once the tub was full we made the holes and planted our potatoes. We used two large baking potatoes that had just started to sprout. Then we covered them up and had another fun 10 minutes watering them! We also planted an onion that was sprouting although I have read that this may not work but i'm game for a try.

Now his work is to water the plants each day (while I hang out the washing) and watch them grow. The potatoes usually grow large greenery and should be left for around 4 months before harvesting. We will update this post with pictures as our potatoes grow!

What are your best gardening efforts and what have your children enjoyed most? Any ideas are gratefully received.

First update: 

Onions (left) Potatoes (right)

Our potatoes have begun sprouting shoots and the onions are really taking off!

 

 

 

 

 

Harvest time!

The onions were a disaster and really didn´t grow, but the potatoes were magnificent and really yummy for tea tonight!                         

Seeing the world from a new perspective

In today's post I wanted to talk about the changes that happen to us as adults when we become parents. When our son was born neither me nor my husband had any idea of the things our child would teach us and how we must take full advantage of all the natural beauty in the world. 

Last weekend we had a family trip to a nearby beach and fishing town. It is called Laguna and is about a 2 hour drive from us. We wanted to show our son some traditional fishing and Laguna is a special place to do this as the fishermen have expert help in the form of dolphins. Our son is really in to sea animals at the moment and we thought it would be a perfect place to take him to see some big sea animals in action and for free!

The moment we arrived he was off like a shot out of the car and running along the sand, happy to be free of his car seat and sitting position. He reached the edge of the water and while me and my husband were scanning the horizon for a glimpse of the dolphins our boy was already shouting 'whale, whale' (his word for anything in the sea) at the top of his lungs. We were so impressed with how quickly he could see them and identify them as something he knows. 

We spent a few hours enjoying the dolphins and seeing the fish that had been caught before making our way to our hotel for a rest. While our son took his nap me and my husband began discussing his fast perception of things. We've noticed how he hears birds when we would hear nothing. He sees diggers from miles away and often tells us where the moon is at night. 

The next morning we were up early (we are now very early risers) and as breakfast wasn't going to be served until 7.30am we decided to take a walk and see the sun rise and occupy our little guy to take his mind off food! The sun was just coming out of the sea as we reached the viewpoint and our little man got very excited before turning around and showing us the moon. He then went from the sun to the moon about 20 times with an expression of sheer pleasure. We too were thrilled to see such a beautiful scene which was enhanced by his joy.

As we walked back to the breakfast room our boy started telling us something. We stopped and listened and my husband said he could hear an owl. We listened for a while and realised it was coming from the ground. We glanced around and saw three small owls on a grassy patch. We would never have seen them had our boy not pointed out the sound. 

When we got home we took the dog for a walk and continued to discuss how much our son is showing us. So much that we miss. While we were stood in the field watching our dog and boy running free we decided to listen hard and see how many sounds we could hear. Its amazing. I think we counted around 9 different sounds in what could be considered a noiseless field. 

How often do we stop and listen? How much are we missing by staying in bed another hour or putting the TV on instead of sitting at the back door? It really made us think and we'll definitely be getting out the door and opening the windows to see what the world has to offer us.

Watch the dolphins in action on this BBC clip

What's right for you is RIGHT!

We have recently announced that we are expecting our second son and this news has been greeted with mixed comments from friends and family. Hence I have been impelled to write a post regarding the decisions you make as a parent and what is right and wrong.

Firstly, some people felt they needed to give us their opinion on the fact that our two children would have a small age gap between them. Then others inquired if we had planned the pregnancy. Well, yes we had planned him and the age gap between our sons is what we decided was right for our family.

Where children are concerned everybody seems to have an opinion of what is right and wrong and are only too eager to offer their ideas on the matter. Basically I say to all these helpful advisers... what is right for me and my family is right. Every loving parent wants what is best for their child and strives to provide them with the life they see fit. As a parent you work hard day and night to help your child adapt to the outside world and the structure of your family and society. This may include how and when you put your child to bed, the food you decide to feed them and the toy you choose to buy them. All important decisions and all unique to you and your family.

My main point here is that the choices we make as parents are right if they are made consciously and for the best of the child and the family as a whole.

So to anyone who may be doubting their decisions or to those who feel others' decisions are not 'right' i'd like to remind you that no caring parent would carry out something that would deliberately harm their child or family and that every person and family is different. 

We can all agree on one thing and that is that we want what we consider to be the best for our children.