Learning about money!

Money is an important aspect of life and one that needs to be taught well so that children can learn the importance of saving and sensible money management. And it all starts when they are really young. Both my boys have been fascinated with money since a young age and we have encouraged this curiosity by giving them small amounts of pocket money and discussing where this money goes. They each have a piggy bank where they can put their money and save up for a toy they would like. We have a family donation jar where we put small change and encourage the boys to do the same. When they visit the turtle sanctuary near our home they take the money and donate it to the turtles to help them. Finally they have the option to put their money in the bank and this is what they do with any birthday and Christmas money. They are learning that this money is for their future and that by leaving it in the bank they receive bonus money called interest. 

So all that said, they also want to touch money! Play with it and post it into their piggy banks most days. This is great contact and we use these moments to teach counting, the names of the coins and simple math concepts such as ten 10 cent/pence coins make 1 real/pound (we are trying to teach them about the two currencies they will have the most contact with first).

Here are a few of the activities we have done recently which have been fun and received with interest.

Coin cleaning
This was such a simple activity and one they have wanted to repeat many times. We put one of each coin in a small pot and covered them with vinegar. Then we went off to school. When we came home the coins were super shiny. The boys got excited to see how shiny the coins had become.

Coin rubbings
We used our shiny clean coins to make a collection of coin rubbings. This is another simple activity which requires a piece of paper, some crayons and some coins. The only tricky part is trying to keep the coins still under the paper while they do the rubbing so we started with the bigger coins.

Drawing, counting and value representation
We took to the white board to draw around the coins then draw numbers and explore the values using our number rods. We discussed how two fifties make 1 real/pond and other summing of coin values. Although the boys are young they started to look closely at each coin to see what number was written on each one and they grasped the concept that certain coins go together to become 'the same' as other coins.

If you have some other ideas for us on how to learn more about coins, value and money, please share them with us and all Babysteps readers in the comments below :)

WRITING - Wipe clean boards, letter wall and stickers

I want to bring this quick post on how writing has begun in our home over the past weeks. We have made up some materials which have become important tools in our day to day life and with very little adult input our children are beginning to write.

Our first item is our wipe clean activity boards. I made up some of these and have used an early writing skills book to make others. I started with patterns for them to follow, mazes and letters and numbers. This has progressed to the letters of their name, sight words and matching words and pictures. To make these up I used a sheet of A4 paper and some laminating sheets or old overhead projector sheets taped to the A4 paper. Then the boys use white board pens to draw, erase and re-draw and they spend 20-30 minutes at a time on this activity. 

The second activity is the number and letter wall. This was posted in our number week post but has been such a success I will share it with you again. It is simply a sheet of sticky back plastic taped to the wall where the boys can play with their foam number and letters. This has expanded to sight words which i have put on card and placed on the letter wall and the eldest has started identifying the letters in the words and making up the words himself.

The third activity is stickers. It's such a simple activity and with the right type of stickers can bring a lot of letter recognition. My boys have started recognizing the letters in their names and the eldest can make up his name from letter stickers.

So here is last nights 40 minute session:

6.02pm They start using the wipe clean boards

6.09pm Youngest (19m/o) loses focus and starts walking around with pens 

             Eldest continues his work

6.12pm Youngest comes back to the table to continue then comes and goes with my guidence. Eldest continues focused on his work.

6.20pm Eldest starts to loose interest in the activity and draw erratically!

6.22pm I end the activityand both boys run off to the letter and number wall and start placing letters on.

6.26pm both start throwing letters around so I end the activity calling them to the table to the new sticker activity.

6.42pm They finish the stickers and put the rubbish in the bin.

It was exactly 40 minutes of activities and not once did I have to discipline them or get very involved in what they were doing. My role was to provide the next step and guide the youngest when he lost interest and obviously praise them both when they showed me their work or answer questions about the letters and numbers. When my eldest is focused so well I try to guide my youngest more telling him the name of the letters and show him the letters in his name. This helps him to maintain focus and give him the input he needs to begin his literacy journey. This type of activity occurs in our house most days where for just under an hour they have writing and reading opportunities in a series of pre-prepared activities and I can honestly say it's really paying off!

Glow in the dark activities and facing fears

The Black-
light torch we used

My greatest discovery so far... tonic water glows under a black light! Over the past few weeks we have been doing some glow in the dark activities. Here I will show the ones that have worked and let you know the ones that have failed! I wasn't very interested in chemistry at school but I sure am now. Learning with the boys is amazing.

I was so thrilled to find out that something so simple could bring a new edge to our activities. And, even more so as it would be something that helped my youngest feel more comfortable in the dark. My eldest has always voiced his fears loud and overcome them quickly but my youngest seems more concerned about things and not so quick to adapt (poor guy hardly has a chance with his big brother around)! The dark was starting to be an issue I was going to have to address and these activities have helped my son to feel confident and enjoy the dark. At first he was quite reluctant but once his brother was set up I was able to work slowly encouraging him to enjoy the moment - and now - no stopping him!

Here are our activities:

First we tried just pouring and enjoying the glow! This was a great starting point as it glows brightly and the boys were able to splash it about in the bath with little concern for cleaning up. They had a variety of containers, jugs and funnels and spent quite a while transferring the liquid from one place to another. And yes, a few drops were consumed but neither were keen on the taste!

Next we tried cornflour and tonic water. This was another super glowey one. The white in the cornflour helped to keep the vivid glow and the boys had a great if messy time playing with this old favorite!

Then, I tried to be a bit more adventurous and made playdough. Big fail! I think the flour and salt are too dense to allow the tonic water to glow so we had to turn the lights on for this one! I also tried letting them draw white crayon pictures and letters but again these didn't really glow. Perhaps a white marker pen on black paper would work but we haven't tried that yet. 

So back to something that worked. Cornflour and tonic water in food bags to do drawing and writing (thick consistency and strong food bags)! We made up some sensory bottles using cooking oil, food colouring and tonic water. I made up several to explore colour and the reaction between the oil and water then decided to try with tonic water to see if it worked under the black light. It did and it was nice clean fun watching the bubbles go back and fourth in the bottle. 

Finally, and probably the most impressive, was Tapioca or Sagu seeds and tonic water. Tapioca is a popular food here and these are known as sagu here. But I see they are available from health food shops. I soaked the sagu in the tonic water for a couple of hours then added more water so they were 'swimming' around. They glowed so bright and they got quite sticky so the boys could press handfuls together. The next night I didn't add extra tonic water and the stickiness intensified so they could make really big 'snowballs'. Then I left the tapioca pearls to dry out. The next day they were able to have  dry play session in the dark and this was really great too as they threw up handfuls and searched to see where it landed!

Sagu seeds

This has been such a brilliant discovery, made even better as it helped my youngest son overcome a fear. We have had so much fun with it and will definitely be repeating these activities in the future. As always I will add a quick conscience note on food use and let you know that the quantities we use are minimal and all in the name of safe play for the littlies. 

If you have any ideas of ways to use our black light further please let us know as we just love it :) 



This post contains affiliate links for readers' convenience 

Why we use reins

The choice to use reins is a controversial issue which comes up repeatedly with people I talk to. Here I explain why we chose to use reins and how they aid us in teaching our children about road and crowd safety.

We live in a village where there are roads without paths. This makes it hard to go for walks with the boys as I am constantly fearing a car will zoom round the corner and not see them. This has to be the main reason we began to use reins with our oldest son. We thought carefully about this decision and decided that it was a better option than him having to hold our hands all the time (although he does have to hold hands to cross the road-always). If you imagine having to walk with your hand up in the air even for 2 or 3 minutes it starts to feel uncomfortable. The blood drains down and you are not free to touch interesting things around you. This is how it is for a small person who must hold their parents hand for any length of time. The reins gave our boy the freedom to walk alone and be in contact with what he discovers on his wanderings, and we feel he is safe.

That´s not to say we put the reins on and forget the import lessons of road safety. When we are on a stretch of road with a path we take the reins off and walk close to him teaching him how to be safe on the path and cross the road holding our hands and looking out for traffic. He knows when there is no path he must put on his reins and he does this happily.

One aspect that has aided this smooth transition has been our choice of reins. We allowed him to choose which animal he would like and he carries his ´treasures´ that he finds in the small pocket at the back. He knows we must hold the ´tail´ and if it drops or is not attached he makes sure we´re aware of it!

Now he is almost 3 and venturing out on his bike. With the baby still in the pushchair we go off for walks along the roads without the reins and he knows to stop at the edge and is learning how to stay close to the curb when there are no paths. His brother has started walking and we will be using the reins with him in the same way so they can both enjoy walks and bike rides in a safe and learning manner.

A note on stranger danger here too. Without scaring our son we have started to try to teach him about strangers and crowds. The reins have been helpful with this too giving a restricted distance from him and us in very crowded places. We have taught him that he must always be able to see one of us and that if we shout stop he must stop immediately because he may not be safe. When we are in public spaces with few people and easy visibility we leave the reins off and instruct him on the distance he can go from us. This way he is learning how to play alone but in a way we all feel safe.

Of course our situation is perhaps unique and there are of course plenty of cons to using reins. I do however feel, that used with well thought through strategies, they can be an important tool to help you to feel safe as a parent while you are teaching your child to independently use roads and paths and become a safe citizen.

My toddler won´t wear....(insert item)

Having worked for many years in the early years setting, i´m used to children turning up in clothing that is inappropriate for the climate or incorporates some form of super hero! Toddlers love to assert their opinions and choosing their own clothes is one way they achieve this. But what about plain refusal to wear something?

We have had an ongoing battle with our oldest son about wearing a hat. Perhaps this seems like no big deal but if he has to be in the 40 + degree sun for even a minute or two, I feel much better if his head is covered. Now winter is approaching and hes had several colds already (the joy of shared germs at nursery), i´m keen for him to use a hat, especially on those windy days when ear infections are almost guaranteed.

So how do I get him to wear one? I searched the net for a fun hat design and made him a personalised hat! He´s quite into dinosaurs lately and I was fortunate to stumble across a simple pattern. I got some fleece material and a couple hours later his hat was ready! So far hes tried it on a few times and has worn it for around 20 minutes at a time so here´s hoping i´m on the right track. Making or buying an item that is linked to your toddlers latest craze usually has a positive impact on the amount of use it gets. I made sure my boy had a look at the designs I had found and got him involved in the making process so he was sure to know it was a hat especially for him. 

And doesn´t he look great?  

Find more fun templates here and create your own cool hat

Sleep - toddler and baby and the juggling act!

Sleep is a reoccurring topic here at Baby Steps. I´m sure there are a lot of readers who feel like we do - sleep is vital! Not just for the children but for us as parents too.

 

Now that our 2 year old is settled into nursery, we are seeing a better sleep pattern from him. We have had a few full nights and others with just one brief night  waking. We have, however, had to limit his nap to just one hour. We found that when he slept longer in the day he was taking a long time to fall asleep and waking more frequently at night. I guess somewhere during this year he may drop this nap completely (ahhh then what will I do)?

 

Our (almost) 6 month old has learnt that we go out of sight and he doesn´t like it one bit! At 3 months he was sleeping very well even full nights or just one night waking around 4am for a feed. At the 4 month sleep regression (where babies learn to fall asleep by themselves) we noticed he was beginning to wake more frequently and looking to feed each time. For the first two days I fed him, assuming he must be going through a growth spurt, but he began to wake even more often. I went on a sleep research frenzy and came across the no-cry sleep solution by Elizabeth Pantley. The book is designed to very gently and gradually help your baby to sleep all night. As he had been a good sleeper and I knew he was waking for comfort not hunger, I searched the book and found a very important tip that I had never heard before. Never let the baby suck to sleep - whether bottle, dummy or breast feeding. Ok, so how do you stop this once its a habit? By letting baby suck until they are nearly asleep then gently removing. If he cries replace and repeat. This takes patience and some nights I would remove 7-10 times before he fell asleep but gradually he was able to fall asleep by himself and stay that way for a while.

 

After another month he started to wake more frequently again. Now he wasn´t having a dummy and I wasn´t feeding him to sleep so what to do here? I returned to a method we used with our older son which I discovered from Tracy Hogg the baby whisperer. The pick up, put down method. Her you pick up the baby then place him back down (all the way down even if he´s crying) then repeat until he is calm and drifts off to sleep alone.

This last week he has been waking more again but now I just need to rub or pat his tummy and he goes back to sleep. Every night waking I do this until he sleeps. If he takes a long time to go to sleep or wakes again within 30 minutes, I give him a feed and make sure I finish the feed before he is asleep.

 

Here´s hoping they both sleep a full night (the same full night please) very soon. It may seem like a lot of work but it´s worth it when you are feeling sleep deprived. I´ve found it very hard especially when my husband has been travelling and I have to deal with ALL the wakings alone (sometimes both of them at the same time)!

 

I recommend both of the books I have used as they both have really good ways to help you teach your baby to sleep. Both use no-cry methods which I prefer. I would say though, each family is different, each baby too, only do what you can cope with and if it´s working for you and your family - then it´s just fine. Nobody else has to go through it every night and nobody else knows your baby like you do.

 

Good luck and good sleeps for all parents and babies :)

Books, world book day and reading

Happy World Book Day 2014


I love books and want to help my boys to love them too. I remember as a child going to get new books was one of the highlights. I hope my children feel the same way and I am starting lots of projects to encourage this behaviour.

This year I made my two boys a book each. As they are still very small this was ideal. Each page had a photograph of them with one line of text which I made up. For my eldest son I chose to write about the things he can do now he´s two as there have been several changes in his life recentley and I hope this will help him to see that he is growing and able to do so much more. For the baby, it was simply a picture book of his first months within our family.

I will give my boys a book each year on WorldBook Day (as well as other times of the year) in various formats and hope they look forward to this day. Someday I´m sure they will see hard copies of books and think it strange but I intend to keep passing my love of books onto my children.

Just say Yes!

Have you ever counted how many times you say ´no´ in a day? Impressive isn´t it?

Today I chose to say ´yes´!

 

I´m not suggesting you allow your child to do whatever they want and rule the roost, but how about thinking if the no really is a no. Sometimes I say no just because I will have to work to do whatever the yes would require. Sometimes the no is so automatic that it´s said before i´ve had time to think it through. So my new resolution is to simply think well before I say the no.

 

Here´s one example for you. We went to an open day for a new strip mall and residential area. We didn´t know what to expect but planned to go take a look and have a coffee and juice. When we arrived they had lots of activities for the kids and this amazing splash pool. It was summer hot and protected from the sun. Basically perfect for our son to play - so we said yes. As we watched him play many other children came to see the fun and wanted to join in and I was shocked at the number of parents saying no. I saw very little reason for this. We stripped our son down to his shorts and let him go but other parents were saying no. A few older children went in carefully not to get too wet but all the children our sons age were prohibited. It was a moment I was so happy I had made the just say yes rule. He had a wonderful time, great new experience and the organisers must have thought so too as they asked if they could film him for the promotional video!

 

Watch our little man on their video.

 

What have you said yes to lately?

Off to nursery

The big day has arrived... today is the first day of nursery.

It is one of the hardest things for a mother to do - leave their child with another to care for. I certainly didn´t understand how difficult it would be or how strong I would have to be for my son. My husband and I have spent hours discussing this and he says that it´s just not the same for him. So loaded with my fears, emotions and the knowledge that I have about nurseries and children we began our preparations.

 

Our son has never been left with anyone. I mean not grandparents, aunts or friends. This to me was one important factor which I considered when deciding we would start nursery. Another is the language difference. He knows little Portuguese and would be attending an establishment where he would only hear Portuguese and where they have little knowledge or experience of dealing with a child who speaks a different language. Thirdly, we are lucky that we do not require daycare for working purposes. Therefore it is a choice not to have him cared for but for him to expand his experiences beyond our home and what we can offer him. Suddenly our small poppet must venture into the world and see what its all about!

 

The week leading up to his first day, we spent time organising the materials he would need, his uniform and bag. He was present along all the steps. We also read books to him that contained stories about going to nursery. We also explained to him exactly what would happen and the concept that mummy, daddy and ´baby´ would not be allowed to stay as it was only for big boys. I took him to visit the nursery, we were able to see his classroom and meet his teacher. I was able to ask her plenty of questions and organise an adaptation or settling period.

 

On his first day he really didn´t know what was going on. I told him where we were going and took him to the room where he immediately went to find a big truck that was on the shelf and started to play. As soon as the teacher was free I said goodbye to him and walked confidently out of the room even though I could hear him running after me shouting ´mummy, mummy´. That was one of the most painful things I´ve had to do. I went away from the room so I couldn´t hear him and returned after the agreed 20 minutes to find him still sobbing and gratefully snuggled on my shoulder. The next day he realised a little bit more what was happening and didn´t go from my side. Again I said goodbye and left him for a short time. Each day increasing the time I left him. Two important factors I have seen among the other parents is that a lot of them try to sneak off. I have found in my experience that this just makes the child loose trust. OK, it may be easier for you to get out of the room and you may not have the pain of hearing your baby cry but they will become wary of taking their eyes off you in case you disappear or worse they may find it acceptable to disappear (mummy does it) when you are out which becomes incredibly dangerous. The second thing i´ve noticed is how a parent reacts when they pick them up. Some collect their children using the sad voice saying how sorry they are for their suffering or commenting on the negative aspects of the experience. In my opinion it is much better to put on a brave face, be happy to see your child again and ask them about their time. Did they play with cars, dolls, a friend, did they use paint or crayons? By the end of the first week, my son is coming out telling me something of his day and asking ´mummy´? to which I tell him ´yes, mummy came back at the time we agreed, I always do´. He is asking for my security, he is asking if it is ok. By responding positively (regardless of my own feelings) I will enrich his experience and help him to gain more independence in his small life.

 

We have had a small regression on the toilet training as he refused to use the toilet at nursery but after a little over a week he is happy to go. He also refused to eat or drink for the first few days so again it was important that I didn´t leave him for long periods to begin with as he may not have had a drink for hours at a time. Now he is still not happy for me to leave and does cry a lot, even before we enter the car park, but he is also smiling when I pick him up. He gives his teacher a kiss at the end of each day so he must feel safe with her and he has allowed other children to play with his ´special´ toy.

 

This new stage in our lives has inspired me to write the following poem. Enjoy, and good luck to anyone who is about to embark on this huge milestone, whatever the age of your child.

Dear teacher

Please

Be patient with my son, he doesn´t understand.
Be patient with my son, and offer him your hand.
 

Be patient with my son, he´s feeling all alone.

Be patient with my son, tell him ´soon you will go home´.
 

Be patient with my son, he´s really very small.

Be patient with my son, to him you know it all.

Be patient with my son, he may feel without a hope.

Be patient with my son, and help him learn to cope.

Be patient with my son, and soon you will see,

You enjoy this tiny person, almost as much as me. 
 

Dear Parent

 Please

 
Trust me with your son, when you leave and he cries.
Trust me with your son, when it´s hard to say goodbye.

Trust me with your son, when you feel panic and fear.

Trust me with your son, I will tell him you are near.
 
Trust me with your son, when your heart is heavy.
Trust me with your son, he will show us he is ready.

Trust me with your son, please try not to worry.

Trust me with your son, we are not in a hurry.
 
Trust me with your son, I know what to do.
Trust me with your son, for I´m a mother too.

 

Copyright: Zoe Hamlet Silva 

Floor time - independence from birth

Raising independent children begins as soon as they are born. They must become secure with their family and surroundings to be confident to face the world. When our first son was born he stayed close to us and we put him up to bed when we went and we never had a problem. With our second son things were a lot different. As we already had a routine with our oldest boy we put our youngest on the same routine from day one. One thing I really noticed was he wouldn´t sleep in his moses basket and wanted to be held all the time. He was born much earlier than our first boy so I gave him more time to adapt to his bed. However, I tried to put him there several times each night until he was happy to go straight down and off to sleep. Basically I am showing an example of how becoming independent is a process and each child has a different pace and different needs.

 

As independence is a process it is important to go slow and start early. So to the floor goes our tiny man! The importance of floor time for a newborn is huge. It allows them to have a new perspective of the world while strengthening their muscles which leads them to lift and turn their heads and later focus on an object of their choice. At first they need very little time and we began putting out son for a minute or two on his back then rolling him over onto his tummy, again for just a minute or two. Choosing a calm moment to do this is best when the baby is awake but not yet tired and not straight after a feed. Also being aware of the surface is important. Too hard and they can hurt themselves, too soft and there are fewer benefits. We put our son on a light blanket on top of a thin rug. This meant the surface was hard yet comfortable allowing for optimum movement.

 

Our little guy is now 7 weeks old and has been practising his moves for a few weeks. He is able to hold his head up for long periods of time and move it to see when a sound is coming from. He is also moving around the mat where we place him and he seems to enjoy floor time immensely as we hear those cute gurgles of satisfaction often when he is playing like this. We never leave him to long and always monitor to see if he is getting tired or bored. This is is first step to independent movement and so far he´s having a great time!

Repetitive behaviour - why toddlers love repetition

Toddlers often become obsessed with one toy, book, song or action and will repeat something again and again.

 

Our boy just loves trucks!

 

The reason for this behaviour? Well, we all love to be good at things and be an expert on a subject. This is a toddlers way of perfecting a skill and becoming an expert. When our son began throwing, it was a difficult time for us. With a new baby too it was unwelcome behaviour and we had to address it quickly to avoid accidents. Of course we told him off wen he threw toys and have even taken toys away for periods of time when he continued to throw them. But this wasn´t enough. Throwing is an important skill in the right context. So we gave him opportunities to throw. Taking him to the muddy field where there are huge puddles to throw stones in and to the beach where he can throw shells into the sea or the forest where he can throw sticks for the dog to chase. All these activities allow him to perfect his new skill while diverting the throwing from inside. He also had a purpose to his throwing (a splash in the puddle or sea, the dog chasing the stick). We now have small balls in the garden which we throw around and use in the paddling pool and the amount of toys thrown in the house has reduced dramatically. And, I must say, he can throw better than his mummy right now!!!

 

His other obsession is trucks. He just loves them! There is a road close to our house where trucks pass by all day long. His favorite passtime is going for a walk to watch them. We have put a chair by the window so he can get up and see the trucks anytime he likes and when we are out we let him go near parked trucks so he can touch te wheels and marvel at the size! He has become a truck expert!

 

 

 

To allow him to develop his love of trucks further I made him a simple game. I cut out felt squares, rectangles and circles in two colours (you can do more colours but so far I haven´t had time)! Then I covered a piece of cardboard with a piece of material and the game is ready! Now he can use the shapes to create his own trucks. It´s a great way to encourage the learning of shapes and colours too and very inexpensive and quick to make.

The first week as a family of four

As promised, a post about our first week with our two boys. It has been a pleasant yet hectic week!

 

Brazilian hospitals make all mothers stay for two nights so our first days were all in a strange environment. My husband went home after the birth so he was there when our boy woke up to give him his breakfast and keep his routine as normal as possible. Then they came to the hospital. When they arrived I was holding the baby and our big boy came to sit with us. He pushed his hand against the baby so i put the baby in the crib so I could give my boy some big squeezes. Very soon after, the baby cried so I told my boy I must pick him up. He watched silently as I quietened the baby and asked if he would like to see. He gently stroked his brother saying ´baby´. I think he was trying to get his head round the fact that the baby was now right in front of him and not in mummy´s tummy anymore. The first few days he looked for my tummy asking ´baby´ and each time we explained that the baby came out of my tummy and showed him his brother. Each time he seemed a little more accepting and intrigued by his baby brother.

 

One big reaction we noticed from him was that he woke much more frequently during the night for the first three nights. We aimed to keep his routine as close as possible to the pre-baby routine but as we were both quite exhausted from running around after him/recovering from birth and waking with a newborn several times we did have to adapt the way we were dealing with night wakings for a few days, meaning my husband would lay down close to him if he woke up and often did nod off himself!! However just one week in, he is sleeping better and we have returned to our normal ways of dealing with night wakings.

 

He hasn´t seemed to digress too much with the potty training and continues to ask when he needs to use the bathroom. We have kept everything the same in this department and are not really giving him a reaction should he have the odd accident which, hopefully, will avoid any purposeful accidents!

 

One of the most important things we have managed to do is to include our big boy in the day to day care of his brother. He has been a super little fetcher and carrier! He sometimes asks for one of us in particular to pick up his brother when he is crying and where possible we have done as he wishes (for now). He has accepted the breastfeeding really well without any obvious jealousy or fear. He does find it hard when his brother cries but this seems more out of fear that he is hurt rather than jealousy or anger and often tries to comfort him with us by stroking him or calling for us to pick him up. We have had a couple of walks now where our big boy is able to help push the pram or have a ride on his buggy board which is novel and fun - at least for now.

 

We are really pleased with how smoothly things are going and hope it continues like this. Preparation has been the key for us (view our pre-baby preparation here) and being prepared for any minor issues has kept us all calm and relaxed. I´m sure there will be a few bumps in the road but overall we are all managing to enjoy our new arrival together.

And then there were two - preparing your toddler for the arrival of a sibling

So the hospital bag is packed. The crib is awaiting. But what about your toddler? The often anxious expression and the sudden increase in tantrums signals something, but what´s wrong? ´mum what´s going on´? How you prepare your toddler for the arrival of a new baby can significantly reduce the fear, anxiety and general stress that may be felt by all family members. Here´s our story so far.

 

The first thing we have been sure to include is that we do not make any changes to our son´s routine in the weeks leading up to and the few weeks after his brother´s arrival. Any change in routine is difficult to adapt to but this will intensify dramatically with the arrival of a new family member. We began potty training over 10 weeks before the due date and changed the bedtime routine slightly to incorporate the new baby when he arrives. This includes my husband getting up in the night and having bath time in a slightly different way. Our boy adapted to these changes fine and now they will be much smoother when his brother arrives. I´m sure he may digress slightly with potty training and become a little more insecure at night but if we continue to be consistent, these changes should be minimal and he should adjust to his little brother much more calmly.

 

Preparing for feeding time! This was a major concern for me as I plan to breastfeed and as you probably know the first weeks can be slightly horrendous even without a demanding toddler at your side demanding attention. I remember my son took around 40 minutes to feed in the beginning and its not easy or convenient to move around whilst feeding your new baby. First I sat down and thought about our day. The baby will probably have around 8 feeds in 24hours three of which will be overnight (before bed, in the night, first thing in the morning) so I would only need to solve 5 feeds. If my husband is home from work in time for the evening feed this is reduced to thinking of 4 feeds. So not too bad. Getting the baby on a rough 3 hour schedule should leave us calmer. But that's still 4 lots of 40 minutes and you know how long 40 minutes is in the life of your toddler. I figure one feed can be with a movie or tv time as we watch some tv during the day so I can see how the day is going and use the tv time during the most erratic of the feeds. So that leaves 3! My son loves reading, so books will be piled high next to the sofa where I plan to feed. I have made some mystery bags for him to explore by my side. These include random objects beginning with the same letter. So our ´S´ bag contains a small saucepan, a star, a seal, a sun and some shells. This should keep him busy and also give him more language skills. We have a variety of finger puppets too which he loves to put on his fingers while we sing nursery rhymes. We have the famous ´Nemo´ fishing game which I should be able to play one handed. I will have to remember to have his water bottle and perhaps a snack handy too so that he has everything he needs for the duration of the feed. I think we´re ready to go?!

 

The next area of planning concerns where the baby will ´play´. We intend to put the baby on the floor from an early age to allow him to gain all the necessary and important motor skills. As he will move very little at the beginning we have got a blanket which he will lie on. Our son came with us to choose it and when we got home we put it on the floor and explained to him that the baby would be here and it was the baby´s space so he must not walk on the blanket. We all practiced walking around the blanket and it was a fun activity for the three of us. Our son was so excited about the blanket however, he just wanted to touch it and pick it up. So, I got him a blanket too! He now has his space too! We practiced walking around it and he is allowed to run over it and pick it up and choose where it goes and this has been a huge success so far. Lets see how we get on when there is a little baby on the other blanket!!!

 

We moved the moses basket into our room early and prepared our sons room for the arrival of his brother. This was probably one of the biggest changes and we did have a slightly adverse reaction from our boy. We have decided our second son will also sleep on a matress from an early age and sleep in his brothers room for nap time to start with in the hope they will be able to share a room when the time comes to move the baby out of our bedroom. We got a second matress, pillow and covers. We explained to our son that the baby would sleep there when it comes. He didn´t seem to mind the second matress and we refer to it as the baby´s bed and he never asks to sleep there or seemed to have any negative feelings towards it. The moses basket was a slightly different story! It had been in the spare room since our son had finished with it so he had seen it around but was never very interested. As D day got closer we prepared the basket. We washed the sheets and sorted the matress and gave the basket a light wash and told our son the baby would sleep there - so far so good. A few weeks ago I moved the furniture around in our bedroom, had a good spring clean and moved the moses basket up there too. I din´t think to talk too much about it but when it came time to have his bath our son went into our room and saw it. He looked for a moment then turned away. I picked him up to show him inside (all ready for baby) and explained the baby would sleep in mummy and daddy´s room when it was very tiny. He wouldn´t look at the basket and pushed away from me to go down. I put him down and he had his bath and got ready for bed but did seem a little quiet. When we put him to bed that night he cried a lot and woke several times in the night not just that night but for several nights. Clearly he was unhappy about the idea of the baby being close to us but over time he has adapted and (for now, baby still hasn´t arrived) seems fine with the basket in its current location! This is a great example of why preparation should start weeks in advance. I was just imagining if this reaction had happened the night we brought the baby home. Newborn crying + toddler crying = mummy sobbing!!! So glad we avoided this (though that's not to say we won´t have an adverse reaction the night we do bring baby home)!

 

The next big thing was arranging for someone to stay with our son while we are at the hospital. I have never spent a night away from my son and am extremely anxious about this. I will be in the hospital for two nights which is standard procedure here in Brazil so some hefty planning was needed! My husband will be present at the birth and for as much time as he possibly can. He is allowed to stay at the hospital with me but we think it may be too much for our son to spend more than the necessary nights without one of us as he is still very young. Really we were at a bit of a loss as to who we could ask but have a wonderful neighbour who will be stepping in to help us out. She has two older girls so has already been through it all before. She speaks English so he will have no problems and she sees him quite regularly so he won´t be confronted by a stranger if he wakes in the night or we have to dash off during the day. Also her girls are wonderful with him and he enjoys their company very much, completely forgetting about us when they are around. These factors leave us very calm when thinking about leaving him for the necessary time and know that he is in good hands.

 

So far these are the steps we´ve taken to reduce the potential stress of the baby´s arrival. For sure we will have some tense moments but if we keep in mind that it is temporary and that it is fear causing them we will be just fine. Our son just loves giving his ´baby´ or my tummy cuddles and asks several times a day (probably comfort from me more than the baby but its very sweet either way). Throughout the pregnancy we have spoken to him about the baby and he seems to love him just as much as we do. Not we anxiously await his arrival in the next few weeks and will let you know if our preparations were adequate! Any tips would be great so please leave us a comment :)
 

From nappy to pants - POTTY TRAINING

At 18 months we made the leap from nappies to underwear. Now a month in we are ready to tell you all about the process and how we dealt with the new situations which we found ourselves facing and how our little boy adapted to this new milestone.

 

The first question I will answer is ´Why so early?`

We have been asked this question several times this month. There are several reasons. Firstly, we want our son to be independent and thrive to help him reach his goals.Here, i´d also like to point out that we never force him to achieve something that is beyond his ability, yet aid his development by giving him opportunities and listening to his needs. Potty training fits here too. It is not just using the toilet but learning to dress and undress and wash his hands and the routine of hygiene that comes with using the bathroom. Sure these other skills can be taught without using the toilet but it is a great way to teach them all at once! Secondly, at whatever age you begin toilet training, it is a process. It rarely happens overnight. We have been helping him to develop his skill since he was able to sit up unaided. At 18 months we felt he was able to begin wearing underwear and taking more responsibility for his body as he was able to use the potty several times during the day. The third reason for starting all this so early comes from a Montessori concept. Why teach a child twice what they can learn once. If you continue to use nappies when a child is able to use the toilet at some point you will have to re-teach them to use the toilet. So we have skipped this re-teaching and been helping him from very early on.

 

And the moment of truth.... was it a disaster???



Well, i´ll be honest and say the first few hours of the first day I did think ´what have I got myself in for?´ But, after the first few accidents and working out his pattern, we have had a wonderfully successful month. We began taking him every 15 minutes until we saw a pattern emerge and saw he could go somewhere between 30 and 45 minutes between using the bathroom. We broke the day down into manageable chunks and got through each hour with few accidents. Each time he went we told him what he was doing and he watched the flush of the toilet then washed and dried his hands. It was very stress free and he was learning the vocabulary quickly and practicing saying them. We made a sticker chart for him so that he could see each time he succeeded and although it didn´t end up working as a reward chart (he is too young really to grasp this concept) it was a lovely distraction if he needed to sit a little longer to ´perform´. We made him dog and nemo stickers and he got very excited about them counting them together and he learnt how to stick them onto the paper (yet another skill).

 

Our sticker chart

Now, over a month into it all, he is able to ask us when he needs to go although he cannot hold once hes asked so we do still have the odd accident. He can go longer between needing to use the bathroom too usually over an hour and we´ve noticed that at least 50% of the time his nappy is dry after his nap of over 1.5 hours. Sometimes he tells us he needs to go when really he doesn´t so he is even trying to trick us and test what happens!

 

We are very happy we decided to go for it and hope we have inspired you too. But remember, if it´s not right for you, your child or your family then its not going to work out well.

Here are a few of our tips to a smooth transition.

 

 

• Try to plan a week of limited activities outside the house. If you start with pants it is not a good idea to put a nappy back on because you need to do the shopping. I rearranged life for 10 days to see how we got on and then we attempted our first trip out and yes, we had a couple of accidents!
• The first time you go out remember to take your child straight to the bathroom. We made this mistake the first time we took him out. As adults we take it for granted that there will be a bathroom around. Our poor little guy didn´t know that and as he had only been using the toilet at home he probably didn´t even know they existed outside his house!
• Have a potty to hand. We have ours in the back of the can so if he needs to go when we are out and about we always have one handy for him.
• Try to have a relaxed and calm approach to the idea of accidents both in your home and when out and about.
• Protect furniture. We have a thin plastic changing mat that we have put on the sofa for him to sit on - it is now his special seat!
• Be prepared for the accidents by having old towels or cloths and disinfectant spray ready. We also had a bucket of soapy water in the bathroom so we could put his dirty clothes in (just for the first week then it was so few we felt we didn´t need it anymore).
• Prepare your child a day or two beforehand. Talk about what will happen and show them the new underwear (allowing them to go shopping for the underwear is a perfect way to introduce them and allow them to make choices). 

Cooking - Banana Bread

So this week we decided to use up our abundance of bananas by making a yummy loaf of banana bread. Sugar free so perfect for a snack or as picnic food. Why not give it a go and let us know what you think!

 





Ingredients:

2 cups of flour

(we used one of plain and one wholemeal)

Squeezing the orange

1 tablespoon baking powder

1 tablespoon cinnomon

2 large ripe bananas

Handful of raisins

1 egg

Juice of 1 orange









Adding raisins

Put the flour, baking powder, raisins and cinnomon in a bowl and mix. Mash the bananas well and mix them together with the egg and orange juice then add to flour mixture. Mix together then put into a bread tin and cook for around 30-50mins on 180oC.

 

Simple and yummy, enjoy!

A Box (or two)

Last week our neighbor was getting rid of some very large boxes. We asked if we could have them, and so the fun began.  
I never knew how much you could do with an empty piece of cardboard but we have had a full week of fun which culminated in an outdoor activity ready for recycling day today.

To start we decided to enter in one of the big boxes. We played hide and seek and talked about the dark and light. This inspired us to make a second box into a tunnel and use the cut out pieces to design a castle façade. We put cushions inside the big box and read stories there all week. It was very cosy on the coldest days of the year!

When we were bored of the tunnel and castle we opened up the boxes and made a slide for the cars, trucks and trains and pretty much any toy that would go down. This even turned into a human slide for a few hours which had us using up some physical energy before bed!

After we were done with the slide the boxes made their way to the kitchen floor where we got out our pens and crayons and started big drawings of anything we could think of. We drew around each other and made funny faces on the outlines.

Finally our box fun could move outside as the weather warmed and we had a fun afternoon feet painting. Our boy just loved putting his feet and hands into big plates of paint and watching his footprints as he ran down the boxes. I was surprised by his reaction to the paint which I thought he may find cold and uncomfortable but which he seemed to enjoy very much. The mess was minimal and I had the baby bath ready next to him so he could jump in for a warm wash when he had finished. He spent a good half hour in the bath enjoying the experience of being outdoors with the rabbit even deciding to join in!

So, a bit of packaging sure went a long way in our house this week and today our very well used boxes have found their way to the recycling. We will definitely be keeping any boxes that come our way again.

We hope we have inspired you to have some box fun and as always if you have any ideas for us we would just love to hear them :)