The choice to use reins is a controversial issue which comes up repeatedly with people I talk to. Here I explain why we chose to use reins and how they aid us in teaching our children about road and crowd safety.
We live in a village where there are roads without paths. This makes it hard to go for walks with the boys as I am constantly fearing a car will zoom round the corner and not see them. This has to be the main reason we began to use reins with our oldest son. We thought carefully about this decision and decided that it was a better option than him having to hold our hands all the time (although he does have to hold hands to cross the road-always). If you imagine having to walk with your hand up in the air even for 2 or 3 minutes it starts to feel uncomfortable. The blood drains down and you are not free to touch interesting things around you. This is how it is for a small person who must hold their parents hand for any length of time. The reins gave our boy the freedom to walk alone and be in contact with what he discovers on his wanderings, and we feel he is safe.
That´s not to say we put the reins on and forget the import lessons of road safety. When we are on a stretch of road with a path we take the reins off and walk close to him teaching him how to be safe on the path and cross the road holding our hands and looking out for traffic. He knows when there is no path he must put on his reins and he does this happily.
One aspect that has aided this smooth transition has been our choice of reins. We allowed him to choose which animal he would like and he carries his ´treasures´ that he finds in the small pocket at the back. He knows we must hold the ´tail´ and if it drops or is not attached he makes sure we´re aware of it!
Now he is almost 3 and venturing out on his bike. With the baby still in the pushchair we go off for walks along the roads without the reins and he knows to stop at the edge and is learning how to stay close to the curb when there are no paths. His brother has started walking and we will be using the reins with him in the same way so they can both enjoy walks and bike rides in a safe and learning manner.
A note on stranger danger here too. Without scaring our son we have started to try to teach him about strangers and crowds. The reins have been helpful with this too giving a restricted distance from him and us in very crowded places. We have taught him that he must always be able to see one of us and that if we shout stop he must stop immediately because he may not be safe. When we are in public spaces with few people and easy visibility we leave the reins off and instruct him on the distance he can go from us. This way he is learning how to play alone but in a way we all feel safe.
Of course our situation is perhaps unique and there are of course plenty of cons to using reins. I do however feel, that used with well thought through strategies, they can be an important tool to help you to feel safe as a parent while you are teaching your child to independently use roads and paths and become a safe citizen.
