Um mundo melhor para nossos filhos e melhores filhos para nosso mundo

Falamos sempre sobre um mundo melhor para nossos filhos. E sobre filhos melhores para nosso mundo?

Hoje em dia é mais difícil para as crianças terem uma vida de brincadeiras nas ruas e férias longas com toda a família. Isso por uma questão de segurança e também porque as exigências do trabalho de nós pais são muitas. Assim, muitas vezes caímos no risco de nossos filhos acabarem muito tempo na frente da TV ou do computador.

O que estamos fazendo aqui em casa então?

Tentamos manter um equilíbrio entre o trabalho e o tempo de ficar em casa. Temos a sorte de eu poder trabalhar em casa, mais ativamente nas horas em que nosso filho está dormindo. temos procurado levar nosso filho para parques e lugares interessantes e diferentes para que ele possa aprender sobre a natureza e como lidar na sociedade. Queremos que ele cresça sabendo como cuidar de si próprio, mas também do mundo em volta dele.

Um exemplo de como procuramos ajudá-lo a compreender nossa responsabilidade na sociedade  começou esse ano, no dia das crianças. No Brasil esse dia é marcado para as crianças como um dia de receber presentes e passear com a família, o que acaba tendo um tom até muito comercial. Em vez de fazer o dia típico com nosso pequeno, organizamos com ele seus brinquedos, vendo aqueles que estavam em boa condição e que ele poderia doar para crianças menos favorecidas. Escolhemos vários deles e levamos para uma ONG, que nos agradeceu muito o gesto e se certificará que os brinquedos serão muito bem aproveitados. Depois o levamos para um parque e fizemos um ótimo piquenique. Nosso filho é ainda bem pequeno, mas esperamos que fazendo coisas assim ele vai crescer entendendo como ajudar na sociedade.

Comentei acima sobre as crianças ficarem assistindo TV ou no computador. Isso não é necessariamente ruim e com supervisão esses recursos podem aumentar o conhecimento e a capacidade cognitiva das crianças. Nosso filho pode assistir um pouco de TV por dia (15-20 minutos), mas ficamos juntos com ele para usar o tempo explicando e ensinando. Também usamos juntos o computador e recursos tecnológicos para falar com os parentes na Inglaterra e em outras partes do mundo.

Com as facilidades que a tecnologia nos proporciona, estamos bem a vontade com o movimento global “Social Good”, que chegou no Brasil recentemente por iniciativa de organizações de nossa cidade, o ICom e o VOL. Estamos envolvidos com o “Social Good Brasil” e acreditamos muito (e vivemos isso com nosso filho) de que a tecnologia, a mídia social e o pensamento inovador estão transformando nossas vidas. E queremos estar seguros de que estamos contribuindo como pais para que nosso filho esteja preparado para ajudar a construir essa sociedade. 

Saiba mais sobre o Social Good Brasil em:

www.facebook.com/SocialGoodBrasil

www.sgb.org.br

www.sgb.org.br/english

This post is also available in English at:

http://babystepsindependence.blogspot.com.br/2012/10/a-better-world-for-our-children-and.html

A better world for our children and better children for our world

We’re always talking about making a better world for our children so I thought it would be nice to post about raising better children for our world. 

Nowadays it is even harder for children to grow up playing in the street and enjoying endless days of summer holidays. Society calls for both parents to work and it is no longer safe to leave your child alone in the street to play which means they are usually in front of a TV or computer in the hours after school or crèche. 

So how do we deal with this? 

To begin we make sure we have a happy work/home balance. We are lucky to have this option as I am able to work from home and in the hours that fit around our son and this isn’t always possible for parents. We try to take our son to parks and different environments so he can learn about nature and how to behave in society. We want him to grow up to be responsible not only for himself but also for the world around him and this begins with his attitude in the world.

To get him started on a road to compassion we began on children’s day. Here in Brazil it is a very commercial day where children receive gifts and are thoroughly spoilt. I love to spoil my son too but we decided that children’s day should be about all the children in the world. We sat with him and went through his toys to see which ones were in good condition and that he didn’t mind donating to other children who don’t have so many toys. We took him to an organisation and he was able to give his toys in. We then took him to a park to play and have a picnic as his treat for thinking of others. He is still very young and doesn’t understand yet but we will continue to educate him in this way and hopefully he will be a caring member of society.

I mentioned how children are often in front of the TV or computer after school/crèche. This is an important part of the 21^st century and must be considered so. We allow our son to watch a small amount of TV each day (15/20 mins) but we always stay with him and use it as a time to explain things. He is already keen on technology and has video calls with his family in England and enjoys pressing the keys on the computer again fully under supervision. Technology can also play an important role in how we can change society, as I have been learning a lot over the past month. The global Social Good movement has come to Brazil and as a family we are really involved (I’m busy translating websites and posts everyday). There will be a seminar here next week talking about how technology, social media and innovative thinking can be used to make social changes. It is great to see that new means of communication can really make a difference to the world that my son is living in and I hope I am able to raise him to be a great person for this world.

For more information about the Social Good Brazil seminar visit:  

http://socialgoodbrasil.org.br/english/ (English)

http://socialgoodbrasil.org.br (Portuguese)


Este post está disponível também em Português: http://babystepsindependence.blogspot.com.br/2012/10/um-mundo-melhor-para-nossos-filhos-e.html

Sleep at 8 months

We have had a huge breakthrough with sleep. 

As our little man was getting off the mattress so often I decided to speak to my good friend and colleague. She suggested we use a bigger mattress. We had a double mattress in the spare room and bingo it works! Our little guy is sleeping 8 hours straight every night.

To go to bed he has a large bottle (around 200ml) and falls asleep around 7.30. He wakes around 3.30am and is usually really wet including his pyjamas and sometimes his sleepy bag. I have tried so many brands of nappy but all seem to have the same effect so I guess I will have to change him during the night until he is well established with the toilet training. At 3.30 he also has a small feed (about 50mls) but I am slowly weaning him off this as I would like him to go 10 hours at night (although this may not happen until he is over a year old). He goes back to sleep quickly after his milk and usually stays asleep until around 6am then he has a small bottle (around 100ml) before getting up for breakfast.

We are much more relaxed about naps now as he usually sleeps for over an hour at a time. If he sleeps in the car we don’t worry too much but we also try to give him at least one nap in his bed so that he keeps a nice routine (but as life happens this isn’t always possible).

Sleep has been one of our major issues from the start as it is so important for everyone and getting to this point has been totally worth all the work we have put in over the last few months. We are all feeling much more rested and able to enjoy family life even more as we are not missing anything by yawning so much!

How has your sleep journey been? Are you out the other end of the sleepless nights tunnel or have you had a super breakthrough at a certain point? Let us know... 

Being Bilingual

For me and my husband it’s been a tough journey to acquire a new language. When deciding on how to introduce our son to both our languages we had a great many conversations, read plenty and spoke to other families in similar situations.

We finally decided that we would both speak to him in English. There are several reasons for this. 

First when deciding to speak any other language with your child it is important to be consistent. There have been studies that revealed a link to dyslexia in children who had a parent who spoke more than one language with them when they were small. Second, we want him to speak both languages well and for this we believe he needs a relaxed environment where he can speak English as everywhere else he will have to speak Portuguese. We also want him to feel supported in his language learning and if we both use English with him he will be able to ask either of us for help. I also read some blogs from people where one parent speaks a different language. In many cases their child understands both languages but responds only in the dominant language. Also when they have their clingy phase with one of the parents the language is a key factor in this too, distancing or isolating the parent who speaks another language.

So these are our reasons for deciding to go forward with English at home. It was not a choice we took lightly and it has been a huge decision for my husband to make as it is not his first language. It was entirely his choice as to which language he would speak with his son as communication is a very intimate and important part of being a parent.

Our language journey began when I was pregnant. Our boy moved more when I spoke English and we both spoke, read and sang to him in English throughout the pregnancy. When he was several weeks old he would cry when I spoke Portuguese and was quiet and content when he could hear English being spoken. Now he is bigger he is very interested when people speak to him in Portuguese or when I speak it when we are out. He pays close attention to people’s mouth when they speak. When we are at home he looks to us for language. We tell him the names of his toys and the animals and he has begun to try sounds for certain things such as the dog’s name.

We now wait excitedly to see how his language development will progress and how he will dominate the two languages.

Any tips, ideas or stories from your own experiences would be great so do leave a comment below.

Art - food or paint?

Today I read the below on a website which I frequent and usually enjoy very much. It has inspired me to write today’s post:

Make some brightly coloured "paints" from puréed vegetables and let your baby get creative with them on her highchair tray. As your baby uses her hands to mix and swirl the various goos, tell her the names of the colours and show her how they combine to form secondary shades. (Of course, don't expect her to repeat or remember the names of the colours at this age!)

So what do you think?

I am of the opinion that food is precious and we should not be encouraging our children to play with it. Our son does put his hands in his food but we encourage him to eat well and to use a spoon. We do not let him play with his food as we think this is unacceptable behaviour. It would be pretty difficult to go to a restaurant and have him smear food over the tray or up the walls.

I understand that for some people this activity would be fine but my argument would be why can’t you get the paints out and let your little one have this fun? Nowadays the paints are child friendly and they can learn the difference between the colours mixing and playing in the same way.

We got the paints out at the weekend and our little guy had a fantastic time. We stripped him down to his nappy and had a bath ready for when he was done then we spread a huge piece of paper on the floor and let him go for it. We showed him how to use a paintbrush and he loved putting his hands and feet in the different colours. After a while he was crawling over the paper and squealing with delight.

The three of us had a good laugh and have hung his art on his bedroom wall and continue to talk about it and the colours we made.

 http://www.babycentre.co.uk/baby/development/letsplay/8months4thweek/#ixzz28uBTb4GI

Sleep at 7 months

Things have changed. 

My boy is now having his teeth brushed before going to sleep and this has been a little tricky to get into his routine as it wakes him from his drowsy milk slumber and he is pretty unhappy about it all. However we are persisting and once brushed we put him into bed and leave him to fall asleep alone. As he is now on the go he often gets off his mattress a couple of times but we silently go back in and put him back on then leave the room again. Usually this is repeated once or twice and he falls off to sleep within five minutes or so. I no longer have to sit beside him or pick him up to get him off to sleep. 

During the night he still wakes a few times but he no longer cries. We just put him back on his mattress if he comes off or cover him and leave the room and he goes back to sleep. He was waking 3 or 4 times and having one feed but is now waking once or twice still having one feed. We are feeling more positive about his sleep patterns and getting a little more sleep ourselves.

Naps have changed too! 

He has lengthened his naps to anywhere from 1 hour to 1 ½ hours and goes to sleep quickly alone. I often have to go in once or twice to put him back on his mattress but he is usually asleep within 10 minutes of putting him in his room. I now read a quick story to him before putting him in bed and this settles him although I am careful to watch for irritable signs and cut the story short if I see he’s too tired. He has 2 naps now and sometimes a catnap when we are in the car or out for our walk. These longer naps leave him much more rested and he is able to stay awake for up to 3 hours between naps and goes to bed 10 to 15 minutes later and is getting up in the morning any time after 6. 

We feel that great progress is being made and we have hope for a full night’s sleep in the near future!

Discipline

Society revolves around rules and so does life at home. Rules help a child to feel secure and know what is expected of them. Implementing the rules helps the child to define boundaries and become self secure.

Is it too young to start disciplining? 

We believe that our son needs limits and there are things we are not comfortable with him doing. One big example is him pulling our hair or pinching our faces. This is unacceptable to us and even though he doesn’t mean to hurt us we believe we should be teaching him that this is not acceptable for us. We tell him not to do that and then show him how to be gentle and give lots of praise. He has taken this on board very well and is now good at touching our faces gently and we make up a game where we say ‘beeb’ when he touches our noses and he has a giggle. It’s a very relaxed way of giving him the limits of how to touch us.

When he continues to be too rough we tell him that if he does it again we will put him on the floor. He usually repeats the roughness so we place him on the floor. Almost every time he cries immediately so we pick him up and tell him he must say sorry then show him how to be gentle again. He has responded quickly to this method and is improving every day. There is a pattern to his behavior and we find he is particularly rough when he is tired so we try to avoid the situation happening as it is always difficult to implement discipline when he is too tired. That said, if he does hurt us we carry out our discipline method as consistency is key to helping him know that the boundaries are firm.

We always discuss what method we will take with him before a situation arises so we can both implement discipline smoothly and so that he isn’t confused by us setting two different sets of limits. It is very important to discuss these things away from him so that we always present a united front otherwise he will know when one of us doesn’t really mind something and try to push this boundary further.