Books, world book day and reading

Happy World Book Day 2014


I love books and want to help my boys to love them too. I remember as a child going to get new books was one of the highlights. I hope my children feel the same way and I am starting lots of projects to encourage this behaviour.

This year I made my two boys a book each. As they are still very small this was ideal. Each page had a photograph of them with one line of text which I made up. For my eldest son I chose to write about the things he can do now he´s two as there have been several changes in his life recentley and I hope this will help him to see that he is growing and able to do so much more. For the baby, it was simply a picture book of his first months within our family.

I will give my boys a book each year on WorldBook Day (as well as other times of the year) in various formats and hope they look forward to this day. Someday I´m sure they will see hard copies of books and think it strange but I intend to keep passing my love of books onto my children.

Just say Yes!

Have you ever counted how many times you say ´no´ in a day? Impressive isn´t it?

Today I chose to say ´yes´!

 

I´m not suggesting you allow your child to do whatever they want and rule the roost, but how about thinking if the no really is a no. Sometimes I say no just because I will have to work to do whatever the yes would require. Sometimes the no is so automatic that it´s said before i´ve had time to think it through. So my new resolution is to simply think well before I say the no.

 

Here´s one example for you. We went to an open day for a new strip mall and residential area. We didn´t know what to expect but planned to go take a look and have a coffee and juice. When we arrived they had lots of activities for the kids and this amazing splash pool. It was summer hot and protected from the sun. Basically perfect for our son to play - so we said yes. As we watched him play many other children came to see the fun and wanted to join in and I was shocked at the number of parents saying no. I saw very little reason for this. We stripped our son down to his shorts and let him go but other parents were saying no. A few older children went in carefully not to get too wet but all the children our sons age were prohibited. It was a moment I was so happy I had made the just say yes rule. He had a wonderful time, great new experience and the organisers must have thought so too as they asked if they could film him for the promotional video!

 

Watch our little man on their video.

 

What have you said yes to lately?

Off to nursery

The big day has arrived... today is the first day of nursery.

It is one of the hardest things for a mother to do - leave their child with another to care for. I certainly didn´t understand how difficult it would be or how strong I would have to be for my son. My husband and I have spent hours discussing this and he says that it´s just not the same for him. So loaded with my fears, emotions and the knowledge that I have about nurseries and children we began our preparations.

 

Our son has never been left with anyone. I mean not grandparents, aunts or friends. This to me was one important factor which I considered when deciding we would start nursery. Another is the language difference. He knows little Portuguese and would be attending an establishment where he would only hear Portuguese and where they have little knowledge or experience of dealing with a child who speaks a different language. Thirdly, we are lucky that we do not require daycare for working purposes. Therefore it is a choice not to have him cared for but for him to expand his experiences beyond our home and what we can offer him. Suddenly our small poppet must venture into the world and see what its all about!

 

The week leading up to his first day, we spent time organising the materials he would need, his uniform and bag. He was present along all the steps. We also read books to him that contained stories about going to nursery. We also explained to him exactly what would happen and the concept that mummy, daddy and ´baby´ would not be allowed to stay as it was only for big boys. I took him to visit the nursery, we were able to see his classroom and meet his teacher. I was able to ask her plenty of questions and organise an adaptation or settling period.

 

On his first day he really didn´t know what was going on. I told him where we were going and took him to the room where he immediately went to find a big truck that was on the shelf and started to play. As soon as the teacher was free I said goodbye to him and walked confidently out of the room even though I could hear him running after me shouting ´mummy, mummy´. That was one of the most painful things I´ve had to do. I went away from the room so I couldn´t hear him and returned after the agreed 20 minutes to find him still sobbing and gratefully snuggled on my shoulder. The next day he realised a little bit more what was happening and didn´t go from my side. Again I said goodbye and left him for a short time. Each day increasing the time I left him. Two important factors I have seen among the other parents is that a lot of them try to sneak off. I have found in my experience that this just makes the child loose trust. OK, it may be easier for you to get out of the room and you may not have the pain of hearing your baby cry but they will become wary of taking their eyes off you in case you disappear or worse they may find it acceptable to disappear (mummy does it) when you are out which becomes incredibly dangerous. The second thing i´ve noticed is how a parent reacts when they pick them up. Some collect their children using the sad voice saying how sorry they are for their suffering or commenting on the negative aspects of the experience. In my opinion it is much better to put on a brave face, be happy to see your child again and ask them about their time. Did they play with cars, dolls, a friend, did they use paint or crayons? By the end of the first week, my son is coming out telling me something of his day and asking ´mummy´? to which I tell him ´yes, mummy came back at the time we agreed, I always do´. He is asking for my security, he is asking if it is ok. By responding positively (regardless of my own feelings) I will enrich his experience and help him to gain more independence in his small life.

 

We have had a small regression on the toilet training as he refused to use the toilet at nursery but after a little over a week he is happy to go. He also refused to eat or drink for the first few days so again it was important that I didn´t leave him for long periods to begin with as he may not have had a drink for hours at a time. Now he is still not happy for me to leave and does cry a lot, even before we enter the car park, but he is also smiling when I pick him up. He gives his teacher a kiss at the end of each day so he must feel safe with her and he has allowed other children to play with his ´special´ toy.

 

This new stage in our lives has inspired me to write the following poem. Enjoy, and good luck to anyone who is about to embark on this huge milestone, whatever the age of your child.

Dear teacher

Please

Be patient with my son, he doesn´t understand.
Be patient with my son, and offer him your hand.
 

Be patient with my son, he´s feeling all alone.

Be patient with my son, tell him ´soon you will go home´.
 

Be patient with my son, he´s really very small.

Be patient with my son, to him you know it all.

Be patient with my son, he may feel without a hope.

Be patient with my son, and help him learn to cope.

Be patient with my son, and soon you will see,

You enjoy this tiny person, almost as much as me. 
 

Dear Parent

 Please

 
Trust me with your son, when you leave and he cries.
Trust me with your son, when it´s hard to say goodbye.

Trust me with your son, when you feel panic and fear.

Trust me with your son, I will tell him you are near.
 
Trust me with your son, when your heart is heavy.
Trust me with your son, he will show us he is ready.

Trust me with your son, please try not to worry.

Trust me with your son, we are not in a hurry.
 
Trust me with your son, I know what to do.
Trust me with your son, for I´m a mother too.

 

Copyright: Zoe Hamlet Silva 

Christmas Competition

It´s competition time here at baby steps.

We are giving away two learning libraries. The Hungry Caterpillar and The Gruffalo

This time we are giving you more chances to win.

1.  Add a comment to the bottom of this post telling us one of your Christmas traditions in your family
2. Like our Facebook page
3. Share the photo on the Facebook page

The competition is open to all and will close on December 24th 2013. The first person drawn out of the hat on Christmas day will be the lucky winner. We will announce the winner here so make sure you check back to see if it´s you. (Prize must be claimed within 30days).

Good Luck!



AND THE WINNER IS........Clara!
Congratulations. Send us your contact details so we can get your prize on its way!

Floor time - independence from birth

Raising independent children begins as soon as they are born. They must become secure with their family and surroundings to be confident to face the world. When our first son was born he stayed close to us and we put him up to bed when we went and we never had a problem. With our second son things were a lot different. As we already had a routine with our oldest boy we put our youngest on the same routine from day one. One thing I really noticed was he wouldn´t sleep in his moses basket and wanted to be held all the time. He was born much earlier than our first boy so I gave him more time to adapt to his bed. However, I tried to put him there several times each night until he was happy to go straight down and off to sleep. Basically I am showing an example of how becoming independent is a process and each child has a different pace and different needs.

 

As independence is a process it is important to go slow and start early. So to the floor goes our tiny man! The importance of floor time for a newborn is huge. It allows them to have a new perspective of the world while strengthening their muscles which leads them to lift and turn their heads and later focus on an object of their choice. At first they need very little time and we began putting out son for a minute or two on his back then rolling him over onto his tummy, again for just a minute or two. Choosing a calm moment to do this is best when the baby is awake but not yet tired and not straight after a feed. Also being aware of the surface is important. Too hard and they can hurt themselves, too soft and there are fewer benefits. We put our son on a light blanket on top of a thin rug. This meant the surface was hard yet comfortable allowing for optimum movement.

 

Our little guy is now 7 weeks old and has been practising his moves for a few weeks. He is able to hold his head up for long periods of time and move it to see when a sound is coming from. He is also moving around the mat where we place him and he seems to enjoy floor time immensely as we hear those cute gurgles of satisfaction often when he is playing like this. We never leave him to long and always monitor to see if he is getting tired or bored. This is is first step to independent movement and so far he´s having a great time!

Repetitive behaviour - why toddlers love repetition

Toddlers often become obsessed with one toy, book, song or action and will repeat something again and again.

 

Our boy just loves trucks!

 

The reason for this behaviour? Well, we all love to be good at things and be an expert on a subject. This is a toddlers way of perfecting a skill and becoming an expert. When our son began throwing, it was a difficult time for us. With a new baby too it was unwelcome behaviour and we had to address it quickly to avoid accidents. Of course we told him off wen he threw toys and have even taken toys away for periods of time when he continued to throw them. But this wasn´t enough. Throwing is an important skill in the right context. So we gave him opportunities to throw. Taking him to the muddy field where there are huge puddles to throw stones in and to the beach where he can throw shells into the sea or the forest where he can throw sticks for the dog to chase. All these activities allow him to perfect his new skill while diverting the throwing from inside. He also had a purpose to his throwing (a splash in the puddle or sea, the dog chasing the stick). We now have small balls in the garden which we throw around and use in the paddling pool and the amount of toys thrown in the house has reduced dramatically. And, I must say, he can throw better than his mummy right now!!!

 

His other obsession is trucks. He just loves them! There is a road close to our house where trucks pass by all day long. His favorite passtime is going for a walk to watch them. We have put a chair by the window so he can get up and see the trucks anytime he likes and when we are out we let him go near parked trucks so he can touch te wheels and marvel at the size! He has become a truck expert!

 

 

 

To allow him to develop his love of trucks further I made him a simple game. I cut out felt squares, rectangles and circles in two colours (you can do more colours but so far I haven´t had time)! Then I covered a piece of cardboard with a piece of material and the game is ready! Now he can use the shapes to create his own trucks. It´s a great way to encourage the learning of shapes and colours too and very inexpensive and quick to make.

The first week as a family of four

As promised, a post about our first week with our two boys. It has been a pleasant yet hectic week!

 

Brazilian hospitals make all mothers stay for two nights so our first days were all in a strange environment. My husband went home after the birth so he was there when our boy woke up to give him his breakfast and keep his routine as normal as possible. Then they came to the hospital. When they arrived I was holding the baby and our big boy came to sit with us. He pushed his hand against the baby so i put the baby in the crib so I could give my boy some big squeezes. Very soon after, the baby cried so I told my boy I must pick him up. He watched silently as I quietened the baby and asked if he would like to see. He gently stroked his brother saying ´baby´. I think he was trying to get his head round the fact that the baby was now right in front of him and not in mummy´s tummy anymore. The first few days he looked for my tummy asking ´baby´ and each time we explained that the baby came out of my tummy and showed him his brother. Each time he seemed a little more accepting and intrigued by his baby brother.

 

One big reaction we noticed from him was that he woke much more frequently during the night for the first three nights. We aimed to keep his routine as close as possible to the pre-baby routine but as we were both quite exhausted from running around after him/recovering from birth and waking with a newborn several times we did have to adapt the way we were dealing with night wakings for a few days, meaning my husband would lay down close to him if he woke up and often did nod off himself!! However just one week in, he is sleeping better and we have returned to our normal ways of dealing with night wakings.

 

He hasn´t seemed to digress too much with the potty training and continues to ask when he needs to use the bathroom. We have kept everything the same in this department and are not really giving him a reaction should he have the odd accident which, hopefully, will avoid any purposeful accidents!

 

One of the most important things we have managed to do is to include our big boy in the day to day care of his brother. He has been a super little fetcher and carrier! He sometimes asks for one of us in particular to pick up his brother when he is crying and where possible we have done as he wishes (for now). He has accepted the breastfeeding really well without any obvious jealousy or fear. He does find it hard when his brother cries but this seems more out of fear that he is hurt rather than jealousy or anger and often tries to comfort him with us by stroking him or calling for us to pick him up. We have had a couple of walks now where our big boy is able to help push the pram or have a ride on his buggy board which is novel and fun - at least for now.

 

We are really pleased with how smoothly things are going and hope it continues like this. Preparation has been the key for us (view our pre-baby preparation here) and being prepared for any minor issues has kept us all calm and relaxed. I´m sure there will be a few bumps in the road but overall we are all managing to enjoy our new arrival together.